Two Sides Of Tova.

Twenty-One

It's been four days after the kiss I'd started with Jack and it's been four days that I haven't heard anything from him

'I hope he's okay'

I tried to call several times but it only went to voice mail. Even when I asked Anna about him, she always told me that he was fine showing up to school like always. But it felt like she was keeping something from me, I tried to pressure her into talking but she wouldn't budge.

Today is Saturday and in just two days I get to confront Jack about his avoidance towards me.

Maybe he felt like the kiss was a mistake?

Or that he regretted doing it?

Or were we going too fast?

  Ara-ñat rolled her eyes and turned away from me. We were yet to find anything that would help us stop our merging, I have scanned and read thoroughly throughout so many books more than I can count.

Even Anna helped although she was inquisitive most of the time but I came up with excuses and that kept her quiet.

Dora have been so busy at work so most of the time it's just been me at home, I get to go back to school on Monday which is currently coming at a slow pace.

  Suddenly, a knock resonated from the door, I stood up from the chair and went to open it. I felt anxious thinking maybe at least it might be Jack and we'll kiss and make up then proceed to the next stage of our relationship. But instead I was greeted with the sight of Anna, once again with Dylan, her ten year old brother behind.

"I hope you don't mind my mum said that I shouldn't leave him alone". She says coming in with him in tow.

"Yeah it's fine". I said closing the door.

  At times it felt like I should disclose to Anna what happened to me at the temple, all about Ara-ñat. But she wouldn't understand, she would think that I'm crazy. I just kept it at that.

"How've you been? Still hung up on Jack?". She asked concernedly.

I sighed tiredly, I just didn't know what to do anymore, Dora forbade me from going out and I'm one to key to instructions.

"Just forget about him there are other guys out there". Anna reasoned.

"Other guys just not like him Anna, you don't understand what I feel for him". I said to her frustrated as my emotions lashed out.

She frowned sadly,
"I do understand, you've never been this hung up on a guy before". She replied sadly. She looked like she wanted to say something but then at the last minute she closed her mouth.

"Look Anna if there's something you know just tell me, stop keeping things from me okay, aren't we best friends anymore?". I told her while trying to hold her hands steady.

She drew closer to me before she started talking lowly, "Look I didn't want to tell you this before but you should know".

                            'Know what?!'.

           'What was she talking about?'

                         'What's going on?'

"Look Jack started to talk to Kendra after you left, it looks like they've become close since you've not been around". She said to me while picking on her nails. It's become nervous habit of hers that she does when she's scared.

   Shocked and unable to form words with my mouth,I just blinked at her. I could feel my tear gland pricking at my eyes wanting the tears to be let out but I held them back and I just listened to what she had to say.

"They weren't really that close you know, he shares French class with her if you must know so I think that's what maybe made Kendra get closer to him without you being there. But he wasn't all that into her but since that day you guys kissed" She air quoted.   "They've only gotten closer like recently so...".

"Why didn't y-you tell me ". I asked shakily trying to draw breath into my lungs.

"You were so happy that you finally told him your feelings that I didn't want to be such a bummer. He makes you really happy okay?". She answered solemnly. "But you owe it to him to talk about it, maybe they're just friends and nothing is going on".

  I breathe out,"Thanks Anna". I looked away from her unable to talk after the revelation I'd just gotten from her.

  ' I thought we were doing so well but what's going on'

   'Doesn't he like me again or he's lost interest caus' I'm boring'.

'He's just like Jonas'.

  A hand held my shoulders firmly but reassuringly. I looked up to meet the gaze of my half whose eyes were trained solely on me.

"You do not know what had happened so don't think of him that badly. Wait till you know the entire truth instead of judging him falsely. Calm yourself little one". Ara-ñat said to me calmly.

  I breathe in and out slowly then I felt calm as Ara-ñat channeled some of her emotions to me, something that has been happening recently because of the merging, I held her hand still on my shoulder and gave her a small smile.

"Who are you smiling at?". Anna's question shook me and took me off of Ara-ñat's stare.

  I let my hands fall at my side and also Ara-ñat's hand to withdraw from my shoulder.

"What do you mean?". I asked her feigning ignorance.

"I mean I saw you smiling at something and then I thought that someone was there but there wasn't and are you okay?". She asked confused.

"I'm fine, just trying to calm myself down with a smile, but if it's a crime now is......".

"No.. no it's okay just that you were acting all weird for a sec, I thought that there was someone but there's not so... It's okay". She says turning away from me.

"That was close". Ara-ñat said.

"Yeah it was". I mumbled lowly.

   The air hung heavy around us, Jack was supposed to be on my side and not Kendra's but I had to trust him enough not to hurt me.

"What's going on?". Dylan asked entering the living room with his mouth full and a packet of cereal in his hand as he dug in to take some more.

"Dylan this isn't out house and you can't take whatever you want just like that". Anna chastised. "Go put it back before I hit you".

  He grabbed out loud and left for the kitchen, "Girls!!". He yelled out as he left.

"I'm sorry about Dylan he tends to be a pain at times but what can I do?". She raised her hands in surrender.

I sighed and looked away,
"It's gonna be fine you know, no matter what I'm here". Anna said hugging me from the side.

   I smiled and closed my eyes reminiscing in the comfort of her embrace, "I know".