Change My Mind (Taylor/You)

Part 4

Wednesday

I have been digesting the information that my ex-girlfriend who I have not heard from for nearly 5 years has been sending my grandmother flowers every week.

Also, she wants to visit her.

I can't believe it.

I haven't been able to sleep for the last few nights.

My thoughts and dreams are consumed with her, I can't get her out of mind and my emotions are conflicted.

I have also drunk more alcohol in the last three days than I have in the last month.

Just trying to block out the thoughts, block out the feelings.

Block out her.

I am hungover which is a rare occasion for me, usually I handle my alcohol well and don't wake up feeling shitty from the bottle of jack the night before.

But this time I drunk two bottles and it is safe to say I haven't felt as bad as I do now since that accident I had a few years back.

My head hurts, my legs hurt.

Even my ass hurts.

Everything hurts.

I sit up and lean on my knees on the side of the bed.

I need to get up and become presentable I have that act coming for a sound check today also that girl said they might want to do some filming, so I don't want to look on camera like a hungover bear.

I stubble towards my bathroom to take a shower, I catch sight of myself in the mirror and I look like shit.

I have black bags under my eyes, my colour is drained and my tongue feels like it has fuzz growing on it.

I need to get my life back on track.

I take a shower and get ready.

I decide to wear black ripped jeans and a white shirt with a pair of black vans. I thought I would try to look cute and start to actually make an effort in my life.

I styled my hair and applied some makeup and perfume.

I checked myself over in the mirror.

"This will have to do Y/N" I picked up the empty jack bottles on the way to the door and dumped them in the trash can.

"This is the first day of the rest of you're life, no more booze, no more bullshit"

I dust off my hands.

I walk down the stairs from my apartment to the bar "It' a new day, it's a new life, fooooorrrrrrr mmeeeeeeeeee and I am feeling goooooodddd" I start to sing in a low baritone voice.

Today is a new day.

I need to start my life.

I walk into the bar and put the lights on and the radio.

I decide to tune it into a popular radio show that I haven't listened to in around 5 years.

If she gets played.

She gets played.

I'll deal with it.

Today is a new me.

Start of something great.

A teeny bopper song by someone I have never heard on comes on.

I dance a bit to it.

It's a been awhile since I listened to pop music.

It's also been a long ass time since I danced.

But in my hungover emotional state I just let my hips do the their thing.