Good-(Sahyo)

....No More Trouble No More Pain....

SANA

I laid on the bed cuddled up next to Jihyo. I wish I could help her through this. I knew nothing about that girl only that she was jihyos submissive from back then.

Jihyo let that girl get to her head. She was so broken down for hours. I definitely loved her more then Jeongyeon. Of course I had a soft spot for Jeongyeon. If I could get rid of the place in my heart for her I would but that was impossible. Her kiss from earlier still stung on my lips.

My mind went back and forth everyday. Was I right for her. Was this all worth the pain I've caused Jihyo.

Jihyo shouldn't have to deal with me. She looked happy that day with Jennie but my showing broke her down. Jeongyeon hit me out of anger that day. She was so careful with me today.

I looked at the ring on my finger. "Jihyo"

"Yeah?" Her eyes met with mine. I looked away. "Do you get these thoughts too?"

"Yes I do"

"Are we really meant to be? Everything is pulling us apart. I've caused you so much pain. The fact that the scars on your arm are because of me suck Jihyo . You didn't want that"

She seemed to have no words. She just looked at me with a blank expression and sighed.
"I saw you with that other girl the night I came back from Jeongyeons. She looked really nice"

Nothing. What was I even saying. I'd spend so much time with this girl but the trouble I brought to her. "I don't think I make you happy. She could make you happier."

JIHYO

I was to controlling. I was the same old Jihyo of my past. The only difference was a girl trying to change me. It was working but she made me feel to much. It was eating away at me.

"Do you get these thoughts too?" Of course I did.

"Yes I do"

"Are we really meant to be? Everything is pulling us apart. I've caused you so much pain. The fact that the scars on your arm are because of me suck Jihyo . You didn't want that"

I didn't want that but the emotions I felt while in the relationship were so strong. Could I live without her? I couldn't imagine not having Sana everyday.

"I saw you with that other girl the night I came back from Jeongyeons. She looked really nice"

Jennie why are you bringing her up...

Sana.

"I don't think I make you happy. She could make you happier."

"You looked so happy with my friends. Maybe just go and enjoy yourself. I can go back to momo... I don't deserve a woman like you Jihyo. Your to good for me to hold you back. Someone else will have you open up to them the right way and understand stuff better then I have"

.... I felt a part of my heart breaking. I felt angry and frustration along with sadness hit me like a punch. We've been through so much. I've learned so much as a person through Sana. What would I do without her. When she cheated I was so angry I needed time away. It felt different now. I didn't want her to go. I was just messed up in my head when I tried to commit.

"I'm sorry Jihyo. I'm sorry about leaving your father" what happened. Why did dad hurt me. Why didn't he love mom anymore.

I had nothing. Yes I could run to jennie who would take care of me but did I want that.

Control. That's all I cared about.

Sana that's all I cared about. That's all that was in my mind. She took up every second. When things go wrong with her I feel like I'm dying. When my mother died she lifted me up.

Follow your heart. Follow your heart.

What was it saying. Tell me.

"If we do this are you following your heart?"

SANA

My heart. Follow my heart. In my heart I didn't want her to deal with me anymore but of course my heart ached. Jihyo was my first ever love. My wife who I said I'd commit my life to forever. To grow with and keep safe. I haven't kept her safe. That girl held us as gun point because of me. Because of my own wanting she nearly took her life. I didn't know the way around Jihyos mind and I don't think I ever will.

Are love was fast. We rushed things and didn't give each other enough time to really learn about both of are feelings. The things we both wanted. I always wanted things from her that were hard for her to tell. I was so stupid to ask her those things. I never gave her time to feel emotions. The second I heard what Jeongyeon said I was gone. The second her old self came for me I was gone. I never gave the time to truly understand her. It's all about what I wanted.

"Is it to late to understand? You've told me many things but I was scared and just put them away because I was so focused on understanding why you wanted control in your life. I never truly tried to help you I thought you telling me could help. That's not right"

"If we could understand? From today on we could try?"

"It's to late. What if something goes wrong again? I can't deal with hurting you again. I'll end up hurting myself in the end"

JIHYO

She was letting me go.

Tears were falling from both of us. The emotions took over. Maybe she was right about all of this. On her side I could see it. My side she made me an emotional wreak everyday. I felt like I was going crazy.

Maybe something else that could show me the right way.

Sana would always have a place in my heart.

"We can still be friends right?" Sana cried.

It's actually happening.

"I can't imagine my days without you Sana."

"Me either. How are we going to do this?" I wiped away her tears. She held onto my hand tight.

"If this is what's really right then we'll get over it.." I didn't want to think this was real but we both caused each other pain in ways we couldn't control. We've been through so much though.

I had to let go. That's impossible.

What she's saying is right. Is it.

Why is this so hard. I need to let go.

Try to get her back. She wants the best for you let her go.

Let her go.

Damn it.

"Ok. We can do this. I'm just sick of causing you trouble Jihyo. I hate it. Everytime you cry it's because of me forcing you to tell me things and dealing with my shit."

"I was the one who never trusted you Sana. I should have. I didn't understand your feelings. I'm sorry. I'll always love you"

"It's ok. I love you too." She pointed at her heart. "You'll always be right here. Maybe we just need time to think"

"We'll both just take are break like last time."
Sana sighed. "Your probably right."

"End one thing and start another. The normal life is strange Sana"

"It is and your world is strange to."

"Your not wrong with that. You should get going I'm sure Momo misses you."

"Yeah..I bet she does"