Do You Think I'm Pure?

15 The Experience

The dream I had after my dad touched me was like this: my dad was by the bedroom's door. He entered the room and grabbed my legs while I was on the bed. It was nighttime in the dream with the lights off, as if it was happening in real life. My dad grabbed my legs forcing them to open since I had my legs tightly together. But I used every fiber of energy in my body to keep my legs closed, and push my dad off of me. The demon, masqueraded as my dad in my dream, left slowly out of the room. It was a dream, and I knew in the morning that it was a demonic creature trying to make me doubt and hate my father. Sometimes, those creatures come at night in the bedroom or in my dreams masqueraded as people I know. Or they come as disturbing looking things trying to scare me.

I had another dream where a demon masqueraded itself as my mom. The dream was like this: my mom was in my room with the lights on. We were both standing by the door. She reached with her hands to my face trying to scratch me when I woke up. It was the middle of the night when I woke up. I was kinda scared, but I prayed.

During the summer when I accepted Jesus, my mom, my siblings and I went to New York, and I had a dream. In that dream, the demon who looked like my mom tried to have sex with me. But I urinated on her. I wanted to spit in her face as well, but I remembered that people mocked Jesus by spitting on Him. But I peed on her, and left her naked since she was ready to have sex with me.

In January of 2019, I had a strange dream. It wasn't even a dream. It was the middle of the night. After having a dream where a man was in my room, I became awake. That man was an evil spirit, and he paralyzed me. I couldn't move in the bed, and I couldn't talk either. My lips were sealed and my tongue felt heavy. I was on my side with my physical eyes closed. I knew my eyes were closed, but I could see. Though I was in the physical world, I was aware of the spiritual world. I could see in the spiritual, because the Holy Spirit opened my spiritual eyes to see what the evil spirit was doing. The evil spirit didn't know that I could see him. I was afraid that he would know that I could see him. The evil spirit was trying to take me somewhere. He was kinda moving the bed with me on it. Not physically, but spiritually. I couldn't move any muscle of my body, even my tongue was paralyzed. I could only watch. I was terrified. But I felt the need to say, "in the name of Jesus. I couldn't speak, so in my mind, I repeated "in the name of Jesus" in French. Over and over, "dans le nom de Jésus" until the paralysis wore off. My tongue buzzed and I could hear myself out loud in the room saying, "in the name of Jesus". I didn't stop saying "in the name of Jesus" even after the evil spirit left. The manner in which the evil spirit left was strange, he was slowly floating away. All night long when I felt myself putting my guard down and falling asleep, I would become alert and repeat "in the name of Jesus" until it was time to get ready for school.

In that same month, I had another dream where it was a female evil spirit. I was sleeping inside of my dream when the evil spirit started spinning something in front of me. It was a hypnotic object. The evil spirit was trying to brainwash me. To hypnotize me (I had a dream when I was little about an evil spirit that looked like my deceased aunt try to hypnotize me and hypnotize my parents.) But I remembered the weapon that the Holy Spirit gave me: in the name of Jesus. I repeated "in the name of Jesus" all night long again. Ephesians 6:12-13, "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of GOD, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand."

I'm on my guard everyday all night long. I pray for strength from GOD. Life is not easy, but valuable. I remember on night when I couldn't sleep at all. I didn't know why, but I was scared as well. My heart felt heavy and very anxious. It was like someone or something was pressing down on my chest. My heart was bound with unexplainable fear. I prayed to the Lord to grant me sleep and peace remembering the words of Jesus in John 14:27, "Peace I leave with you; My peace I give you. I do not give you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." After what felt like a very long while, a voice spoke in me. It was the same voice that told me "GOD loves you" while I was listening to the song "Good, Good FATHER" by Chris Tomlin. The voice was quiet, clear, and calm. I knew it was the Holy Spirit. He gave me two chapters from the Bible to help me sleep and to not be afraid. I repeated the chapters numbers until I fell asleep. When I woke up in the morning feeling peaceful, I started searching the chapters from the Bible. One of the chapters was Psalm ninety one. But I forgot the other one (I pray to remember that). There were two chapters that the Holy Spirit gave me, and one chapter was more powerful than the other. The powerful chapter was the one that I forgot. I frustrated with myself for forgetting the powerful chapter. I even repeated the powerful chapter more than Psalm ninety one in order to remember it. But I forgot the most important and powerful chaper. (Though I have an inkling that it is one of the chapters in the book of Matthew. Matthew chapter twenty something. Probably Matthew chapter twenty four, or twenty three, or twenty five, or twenty two. I fail to exactly remember.)

From that experience, I learned that when GOD gives you something, you shouldn't wait a second to use what HE gives you. I should've woken up that night, and searched my Bible for the two chapters instead of waiting for the morning to come. Even if I was scared to death. (And I was scared to death. My fear had no basis, and it crippled me.) Now, when I can't sleep or I have bad dreams, I call on the mighty name of Jesus until what is wrong leaves. Call on the mighty name of Jesus and He will deliver you.