Do You Think I'm Pure?

Conclusion

I own none of the videos. And I pray to be owned by GOD, because HE bought me with the shed blood of HIS Only Son Jesus Christ. I pray that you, as the reader, will find the Truth and follow the Truth. I pray that we all do our own research, and not accept everything in this world and in our cultures. I pray that we seek until we find, that we ask and receive, that we knock until the door is open. In the name of Jesus, amen.

I didn't originally set out to ever speak, much less write about my experiences. At first, I handwrote this book in my notebook to give it to my friend from youth group. She always said that she was going to hell, and that she's too bad. I wanted her to understand that my sins are bigger than hers, and that Jesus came to die for our sins as the Lamb of GOD who takes away the sins of the world. She thought that because she had pre-marital sex, not even Jesus could help her. So, when I told her that I also had pre-marital sex, she was shocked. I wanted her to read he notebook I had written my story in, but she declined the offer saying that I wrote how much of a saint I am.

I presented her with the notebook in April of 2019. And since she refused it, I kept it with me under the bed. It contained my secrets, I didn't want anyone to just find it. But then I knew that I needed to give the notebook away, I couldn't just keep it. So, I decided to procrastinate by translating what I wrote in French. From April to December. I finished the translation before my sixteenth birthday. I needed to give the notebook to my parents. I showed it to a few close friends at school first before I finally took all the guts I had, and gave the notebook to my parents. I seriously thought that they were going to kill me. No joke. I gave them the notebook at night, and went quickly to bed. I was expecting them to come break the door open, and kill me. Thank GOD, they didn't do that, or I might not be alive to write this.  So ironic that the last people on earth who I wanted to never read the notebook ends up being the first ones to read it. You never know what to really expect with the Lord. He is full of surprises.

When I found out that though I sinned, Jesus loves me enough that He died for me, I decided to accept Him into my life. I was always scared knowing how much wrongs I did. And thanks be to GOD, because HE brought me to HIM. HE opened my eyes and showed me the truth. I was, and still am, being raised Catholic; but that's not going to last. I don't agree with the Roman Catholic Church's teachings. So, when I became born again, I was in the closet for a while until I felt a stirring in me to let my parents know that I don't want to be Catholic. Obviously, they didn't take it very well, and my dad pretty much thinks that I'm deceived. It's hard. When Jesus said that one's enemies will be those of his household, He was, as always, true. I'm currently (year 2020) being pressured to be confirmed and to found a saint. I decided to choose my grandma as my saint. Because she is faithful and alive. But seriously though, the whole idea is wrong. All saints belong to GOD. I need perseverance still. I can't wait to see what GOD has in store for me. I had a dream the thirty first of December two-thousand-and-nineteen: my dad and I got into a fight all because I said "in the name of Jesus". He got mad at me, and spoke along these lines, "I want you out of this house when you turn eighteen. Don't come back here." To his words, I didn't feel bad or sad. I wasn't hurt, I agreed to what he said and with a boldness that could only come from the Lord, I spoke along these lines, "Yes, I won't come back. I don't believe what you believe. I don't believe in the Roman Catholic Church." To that, my dad slapped me and I fell to the floor before I could finish speaking. Strangely, I didn't feel scared or alarmed. I was ready to give get out and be hated as a Christian even by my own family. The dream ended. But I know that my dad loves me enough to want to sacrifice himself for me (I had another dream the next day and my dad in that dream tried to help me escape the government. I was a law breaker, because I refused to get myself injected in the hand. The injection made people turn into an orangey weird color, like they were no longer humans or something. However, my dad took the injection, and wanted to help me not take it even while knowing that if the police caught us, it would be bad. The police caught us.) And I love my dad too. Just not more than the Lord.