Life of a family

4.

C pov

It all started that day:

Flashback

I'm in a good mood. Today's sunny and my children are at school. Shannon is working and i'm enjoying the chores. I'm grabbing the dry clothes, in the garden. I feel good.. when Shannon will be here, we're gonna announce the great news to our friends. My phone is on the deck chair..i notice a text:

Babe: i think about you every second. I love you.

I sigh in adoration. Eighteen years together and we love each other more and more. Our kids helped us reaching a strong level of trust and love, i can't deny it.. but we stayed two teenagers in love.

Lunch time

My wife is staring at me, sitting around the table. I grab the plate, reaching her. I place a soft kiss on her lips and then i sit on her  "how it was your day?" I ask her..she shrugs "nothing interesting." "My business woman" i say, proudly, kissing her cheek. She puts her left hand upon my belly "how was yours?" "I folded a ton of clothes. Very satisfying" i say, chuckling. We eat...then, i stand up, starting cleaning up  "Cari, are you happy with our life?" I turn towards her "what do you mean?" "I..i feel guilty..for...this pregnancy" "umm.. it happened..have i planned this? No..but..it's our child..just..i don't think we should have another baby after this" i say, smiling. She nods, looking down "i...i'm sorry.. i didn't stop and i-" "Shannon..okay. i don't think you did it on purpose. And, yes, i'm happy with my life..". I keep cleaning while she keeps staring at me.

After the announcement party

"Well, i think we shocked them" "uh, no. Alex had a baby only a few years ago..and we're not that old!" I reply. I lay on the bed "suddenly, i feel tired" "do you want a cup of tea?" "Yes,please". As Shannon goes away, i feel something on my legs. I touch myself and as i see what i have on my hands, i scream loud "Shannon!Shannon!". My daughter is the first person who reaches me "mom.. what is happening?" "June, call your mother. Now.." i tell her, sobbing. She's scared as hell. My wife and my kids get to me in a few seconds "mom..you feel bad?" "Hope, just let me help mom..come on.." Shannon is trying to reassure our child.. she grabs me, taking me downstairs "Gary, close the front door". We get in the car.. "mommy.." i smile to Lucas "i'll be fine, my love".

"This is all my fault...i always make bullshit"... Shannon is talking to Alex..she's desperate..i can't see her like this. "Babe..come here" i take her hand "me and the baby will be fine" she opens her mouth but before she can speak a doctor enters the room. The woman's face gives me a bad sensation "Mrs Beveridge, unfortunately your pregnancy-" "no!no!no!noooo" i start crying like a crazy. I feel a tremendous pain in my chest... i even pinch my face "babe, stop. You're hurting yourself!" Shannon grabs my hands "i can't breathe..my baby. I lost our baby" she holds me "sssh...i'm here..i'll take care of you".

I didn't sleep at all.. i feel numb.. my feet are heavy.. everything's heavy.. when i breathe it hurts. My kids are so sad.. as Shannon helps me getting up, i walk to June "hey..." "mom..." "let's go home".

I'm in my bed, staring at the ceiling. My children are trying to make me feel better "i made this for you. I know that you miss the baby..but..you have us..we'll be with you forever" i burst into tears as my younger son hands me the juice and all his love. I wrap my arms around his neck..then, i caress his pretty face "you're a little man..i love you" "i love you too, mom".

An hour later...i'm still crying. Hope climbs on the bed.. she wipes my tears off with her fingertips... she looks me in the eyes, without speaking. We have our special way to communicate. She simply places her cheek against my chest. I kiss her head. "Where's your mother?" "She's laying on the deck chair" "alone?" "No, Mr Brownie is with her". She's alone, probably crying, with our dog. "Do you want me to call her?" I look at my beautiful girl and nod. She smiles "finally". She kisses me,  before leaving the room.

I hear her footsteps... "babe" at the sound of her voice, new tears start streaming down my cheeks. She sits on the bed "i know how you feel.. look at me".. her blue eyes are in pain. I grab her hand, nuzzling my face into the pillow.. she lays next to me, hugging my body.. i cry..she cries.. "i thought it could never happen to us.. it's impossible.. there must be a mistake.. i had a miscarriage.. how is that possible? I had four kids!".. i can feel her trembling "i don't know..i don't know" "my baby..is dead". She tightens the grip on my body and finally i fall asleep.

S pov

A few weeks after that horrible day

Flashback

We're not good. I came back to work because it was the best thing to do. Cari stayed in bed for a couple of weeks. Her mother came, forcing her to eat. Now, she's slowly coming back to reality. Our kids are in pain and i feel lost.

I park my car in my driveway. Then, i enter my house. There's a good atmosphere... Cari is laughing with the kids.. the table is ready.. everything seems back to normal. "Hi" "hey.. welcome back" she tells me. I greet her with a kiss under the watchful gaze of June. "You cooked" "yes..are you hungry?" "Yeah". I sit and my kids reach me "hi mommy.. how're you doing?" Lucas asks me "fine..what about you?" "We spent the afternoon with mom". I smile..then, i look at Cari..she's trying.

That night

My wife went to bed before me. I stayed up, drinking and watching the television. Even the dog fell asleep. I get under the sheets. I put my hand upon Cari's hip who immediately reacts "please, don't" "what?" "I.. don't want you to touch me". I take a deep breath..i know where she comes from..but it hurts the same "okay". I give up, getting my hand off.

To be continued..

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