Life of a family

5.

S pov

I tried to get closer to her a couple of weeks later.

Flashback

Today my wife has been a little moody. I tried to stay on my own for her. She's laying on our bed and i don't know what to do. I feel like i'm losing her.. i take my shirt off, meeting my eyes in the mirror.. i'm a tired woman who lost a child and is scared of losing the love of her life. I sit on the bed.. then, i turn around to look at her. She's giving me her back.. i can't handle this anymore. I get closer to her.. goosebumps as my body touches hers. She doesn't move so i make my move.. my right hand travel through her ribs, up to her breast and lips. "Shannon..no." "no? Are you sure? I miss you and i think you miss me as well" she sighs "you're selfish". My hand move down to her thighs..she turns around "i wanna sleep. Goodnight". Amazing.

A month later

We're arguing in the living room. "I don't know what to do anymore. I can't touch you, i can't remember when was the last time we made love" "why do i always have to listen to your priorities first? I asked you a few things but you ignored me and now we're talking about sex" "tell me what things i ignored" "i told you i didn't want you to accept that job but you did it" "this is crazy. I had no choice" "you always say this shit.. i told you i don't wanna be alone right now..but no, you thought it was a good idea to leave" "for two fucking days, Cari! I will be in fucking Nevada" "i was pregnant with your baby! But it looks like i'm the only one who is in pain" she starts crying..shit.. "you know what is the thing who hurts me the most?" "What is it?" "I was starting to picture him or her with your eyes and smile.. it hurts so bad, i won't get to meet my baby who surely would have looked like you". I feel like my heart is abandoning my body.. this is terrible. "Cari.. i feel the same pain as you" "no.. you're working.. going to Nevada..you're fine" "it's just my way to react" "running away from pain..very mature" "hey, i'm your wife and mother of your children. I took all the responsibilities" "yes, like getting me pregnant at my 40s" "you know what? Rachel is waiting for me. I'm going to Nevada right now". I grab my bag and she starts screaming "yes, run, you coward" she follows me but i move away from her "now, you want to touch me? Think about this while i'm away". She throws me a jar "fuck you Shannon. It was all your fault.." "what? Say it loud, come on, Cari..i know what you think..the miscarriage was my fault because i'm guilty of loving my wife. Yes, you got pregnant at forty..but you know what? Life happens... pain is a part of life. If you wanna hate me for the rest of our lives it's okay. I don't want this useless indifference".

After that episode, our marriage got stuck. We had a few good days in months..we made love, telling each other that everything would be back to normal. But, we fought again. I found myself a distraction. A woman. We only texted...but i feel guilty.. and jealous. In the last weeks, i'm sleeping to Ally.

Back to present

I'm even more jealous because i'm afraid she's doing my same mistake. I'm hypocritical, i know. As i take June back home, i enter too to spy her a little more. She's on the couch, with her phone..she's pressing her lips like she always does, mostly when she's focused. "What are you doing?" She raises her eyes "i'm playing. Where have you been?" "At the beach..where are the others?" "Upstairs. They were waiting to see you". I nod...i miss my kids, even though I've only been away from home for two weeks..we never faced something like this before. But i know we'll fix it.. we must. I look at her hands, she's still wearing the rings. That's a good sign, isn't it?

C pov

She's here. I'd be lying if i said she hasn't an effect on me. She always had and always will have. It's just that i feel hopeless for us. All the fights we hadn't in the past were saved for now. She's staring. She's jealous, i know. I go in the kitchen. She follows me. I ask her something to break the ice "are you nervous for tomorrow?" "Uh, no. I'm happy for Casey, she deserves it. After what she's been through". I grab a jar of ice-cream. I lick my finger, aware of her eyes on me. Not too long after, she places her hands on my hips from behind "i hope you're not doing any bullshit" "are you doing some yourself?" I ask her "umm, no. We're married..". I move away "you..do you wanna sleep here? I mean it's better for you. Your clothes are here, so you don't have to come here too soon tomorrow" "yes, yes. Totally". I start getting upstairs..she's following me.. she really thinks she's gonna sleep with me.. no, bitch. I open the bedroom door, i get in, almost hitting her face in the process  "uh.. do you need something?" I ask her..she furrows her eyebrows "Cari.." "what?" "There's no way i'm not entering this room". I open the door "please, get in" she steps in "very funny". I get in the bathroom..the scented candles are ready to relax me. "So, now that you're here..what do you need?" "Don't be a bitch with me, Fletcher...speaking about the popstar: i read a very interesting article yesterday.." here she is.. some stupid gossip site said that i'm secretly seeing a famous singer. I look at her "you know that it's not true" "really? How can i be sure?" "You're still annoying like a few hours ago". I turn to the closet. And it's a total mistake because her warm hands are grabbing my ass "you're still mine, remember this. You can't see or talk to anyone". As her hands move to my vulva, i lost any rationality. I turn around.. my tongue is into her mouth.. she's wild..god..her hands..she's everywhere and i don't feel like rejecting her. My legs are around her waist..she's devouring my chest and i'm moaning loudly.

"You have no choice..look me in the eyes" she's pinning my hands above my head "you're stuck with me for life".. she's so hot, i wanna give her everything "take me.. do what you want". I surrender under her body...maybe everything will be fine.

Next day

I was wrong. We're fighting because she's jealous. "June, are you ready? Your aunt is getting married" i need to get out of here. Last night was a mistake.. we always end up making love, promising each other love and patience but then..everything goes wrong. I fix my boys' bow ties..they're beautiful.. then, i go back to our bedroom. She's struggling with her clothes "wait.. i help you". She sighs "you're the same bitch as always.. you didn't need to reply to that dude who was drooling over your thighs" "i don't have time for this shit, now. Your sister is getting married. We're gonna pretend to be a normal family" "you're so blind, babe. The kids are so confused. They're seeing me here, sleeping with you...i can't do this" "i'm tired. They're ready..i'm ready. I'm calling Alex..". I exit that damn bedroom who saw me falling in her trap once again.

I'm talking to Alex who's finally here. As my kids and my wife reach us, i feel a lump in my throat. They're all so beautiful..did we..destroy the perfection? God, if we did we don't deserve any redemption. Her blue eyes are staring into mine. I love her.. is there maybe some hope for us?

Ooookay. If you wanna know how it ended, go check chapter 138 of Astral Convergences. This book will continue with new episodes.

Vooooote.

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