The Silence Has Been Broken (DISCONTINUED)

I'm Lost

Justin's POV

I inhale slowly, letting the smoke fill my lungs. I hold it in for a few seconds before choking it out in smoke rings. With every hit I took, my problems mattered less and less. I couldn't remember why I was so upset. I couldn't remember who the bronze haired boy was that was sitting next to me. I couldn't put a name to the beautiful blonde girl with the piercing blue eyes that took center stage in my brain, and I couldn't keep her from drifting farther and farther away from me.

"I love this," I breathed out, smoke escaping my lungs.

"I told you," the bronze haired boy smirked; "I told you you wouldn't even remember her name."

"Whose name?"

"Exactly."

Suddenly I was laughing, laughing really hard. I found what he said to be extremely comical and I couldn't keep myself from cackling.

"Yeah, I think you've had enough, buddy," a blonde haired boy spoke, taking the blunt from my hand.

"No," I growled, snatching it back.

I don't know why I wanted it so bad. The blonde sighed, sinking back into the soft cushions of the couch.

"Oh, let him. He deserves to forget everything for a little while," the first boy said to the second.

"Forgetting won't bring her back."

Bring who back? Is there someone missing?
Some part of me must have remembered because I felt a deep ache in my chest. My eyes closed tightly in pain as an image of the perfect blonde girl flashed through my mind once again.

"See?" said the first boy; "He needs more. He still remembers."

"Derek, this is fucking ridiculous. I'm not going to let him drink and smoke himself to death," shouted the other boy.

"If you had just lost the only person in this world that ever truly understood and accepted you, what would you be doing?" Derek asked him, his low voice serious. The other boy sighed, not saying another word.

"Ryan, just let him. At least for a little while."

"For a little while," Ryan repeated, not seeming to really be here as he watched me with worried eyes.

I smoked and smoked and smoked until I couldn't
tell the difference between the blurry images in my head and the fuzzy world around me. Everything looked the same; blurry, fuzzy, dim, dull. Nothing was worth doing and I just wanted to stay right here in this blur forever.

"How do you know what being motherless, being alone, possibly feels like? You have everything! A mom and a dad! A big house! You're rich!" she whispered, her voice accusing and somewhat jealous.

She buried her face in my chest, sobs rocking her small frame. I couldn't keep my lips from mouthing words and my voice from ripping from my throat in a pained snarl.

"My dad.. He used to abuse my mom. He abused me, too. One night, she snapped and she killed herself..." I finished quickly, shaking violently as I remembered the knife she held and the red that dripped from her neck.

"I'm Justin," I say, sticking out my hand; "What's your name?"

"I'm Mystique," she laughed, shaking my hand; "Nice to meet you, Justin."

"Oh, I'm sorry. What did you say?" I blinked out of my daze, finding myself once again lost in her eyes.

"I asked if you um.. you maybe wanted to.. uh..." her voice was broken up.