The Two of Us

Spray Cheese and Total Destruction

Okay, so, we had another snow day. I had just gotten off of work like...pretty much an hour ago and was making my way over to the Foxx residence because I had gotten multiple texts from Blair, Leslie, Fallon, and Freddy saying that they "needed me there".

I walked up the pathway, stepping over a couple of baseball bats and a helmet that had been left outside and knocked on the door.

I could hear the Foxx's big ass dog -- Wolfie -- barking from inside.

Fallon answered the door, holding him back. "Hey," they greeted. "You got here fast."

"I let Eddie drive me. Why'd you guys need me here?"

"We're all hanging out and we wanted you to join us because it feels wrong without you."

I groaned, "Jeez, I'm glad that you guys enjoy my presence, but you made me think that somebody broke their fucking neck or something."

"If something terrible actually happened we wouldn't be so vague."

"Well, shit. Good to know. I'll make note of that for the future."

Fallon stepped aside to let me in. "...may I ask why you have four cans of spray cheese with you?"

"They fell out of Eddie's truck when I opened the door and I didn't get the chance to throw them back in before he drove off," I explained.

"Oh. I'm not surprised that your brother has multiple cans of spray cheese in his truck."

"You shouldn't be."

"Everyone's in the living room. You can set...Eddie's cans of spray cheese near the key dish."

"Alright."

I kicked off my boots, set the cans down, and followed them into the living room, where I was greeted with my friends and my girlfriend.

"Baby's here," Fallon announced.

"Dope." Leslie picked up a Wii controller. "Heads up, dude!"

She then proceeded to throw it at me.

Despite my surprise, I still managed to catch it.

"Attempting to murder me, are you? That's the real reason you all wanted me here, isn't it? Newsflash, I'll take you all out if that's the case."

"That's not the case, but if it were," Blair threw one of the nunchucks at me with a bit less aggression, "well, I don't know about the others, but I would most certainly not get taken out by you. I would come out of the clash victorious."

"You—, actually, that is probably true." I took a seat next to her on one of the couches. "Okay, so if I'm not here to get killed, then I'm assuming you threw these at me because you want me to play videogames with you guys."

"That's correct, my guy."

"The game's not gonna be horrible and have more of the world's worst motion controls, is it?"

"Not this time!" Leslie picked up the case of the game she was putting in and threw it over to me like a frisbee.

"Super Smash Brothers, huh?"

"Yeah, man. We're doing doubles matches. You know what that is?"

"Not a clue."

"It's just two versus two," Blair explained. "And you're 100% going to be my partner."

"Wow, you really want me to be your partner? Even though I really fucking suck at games?"

"Yes, of course."