The Two of Us

Rutabaga and Pirates

"So...what's up with rutabaga?"

It was currently the next day. I was in the middle of tuning my guitar while talking to T-Frex (who was attempting to build a card tower) over video call.

"What?"

"Your shirt says, 'ask me about rutabaga' on it, so I did."

I looked down at my shirt, which was one of those weird MS Paint shirts that Leslie liked to make. "Oh yeah, I forgot that I put this on. I don't even know what the fuck rutabaga is. Is it a vegetable?"

"It's a root vegetable that originated as a cross between a cabbage and a turnip. Fun fact, they're generally considered the original Halloween Jack-O-Lantern. Though, some would argue that the mangelwurzel actually is."

"Why the hell do you know that? Are you a rutabaga expert? Did you start a rutabaga farm after I left?" I asked.

"Yes."

"Yes to which one?"

"Both," T-Frex said. "No, actually, I read Wikipedia articles about different vegetables when I'm bored. I used to read about different types of grass, but I ran out of grass to read about last month."

"You ran out? Isn't there something like...12,000 different species of grass?"

"Yeah, but the articles were never very long and I get bored a lot." He shrugged.

"Wow, you probably have more knowledge about grass than anybody else on the face of the earth."

"Yeah, probably."

Suddenly, out of literally nowhere, there was knocking at my window. Sharp, clear, continuous knocks.

I harshly brought my pick down on the strings and paused, causing a few odd notes to ring out. "Oh shit, it looks like I'm gonna have to talk to you later. Somebody is knocking on my window."

Frex's card tower collapsed. "I'm sorry, did you just say that somebody's knocking on your window? That's mildly terrifying. Is there a murderer out there trying to get your attention?"

"No, it's Leslie." I took my guitar off of my lap and propped it up against my desk. "She has a weird aversion to using doors or something."

"Alright, if you're sure that nobody's trying to kill you, then I'll let you go. I should probably start my chores anyway. Love ya."

"Love you too, dork." I ended my call with Frex, stood up, opened my curtains, and was greeted with Leslie.

What a surprise.

She gave a small wave.

I undid the latch on the window and opened it. "I thought I recognized that knocking. What's with you and not using doors?"

"Doors are lame and overused," she said as she climbed inside. "Plus, your brother was sitting in front of the door and eating some sort of mayo and pine needle sandwich off of the concrete. I knew he'd offer me some, and I'm really bad at saying no to dumb stuff like that, and I'm not in the mood to puke, so..."

"Oh, well, that explains it." At that point, I was really starting to get used to hearing weird shit like that and accepting it as a normal situation. "Any particular reason that you decided to drop by?"

"I was bored. Really fucking bored. But if you're busy with all of that junk Richie gave you, then I won't bug the hell outta ya. I'll just like...go dig a hole or some shit. That'll be a fun challenge 'cause the ground is frozen."