The Two of Us

New School

I woke at five in the morning the next day. A completely ungodly hour to be awake at, and a half an hour before my alarm actually even went off. I wouldn't normally wake up before my alarm because I was nowhere near being a morning person, but I kind of had to wake up because I couldn't fucking breathe.

My first thought was, 'Oh, I'm being murdered. This is fun.' 

But then I realized it was just was a cat on my face. First full day back and I had already nearly been smothered by a cat.

I picked her up, put her on the floor, and grabbed my hearing aids off of my desk.

"I apologize for forgetting to say hi to you last night, but trying to kill me is just a little tiny bit extreme. Have some chill."

She meowed at me.

I looked around my dark bedroom.

"Hey Babs, where's your sister?"

My dad had two identical beige and white cats. One was named Bidy and the other was named Babs. I remembered that they usually caused trouble together, so it was odd that only one cat was attempting to cut off my oxygen supply rather than two. But as soon as I mentioned Bidy, she popped out from under my sheets with a sock in her mouth. I looked down at my feet and realized that I was missing a sock.

"Wow, think you're sneaky, huh?" I tugged the sock back from her, not bothering to put it back on since it was now covered in cat spit. "You know, I could have gotten another half an hour of sleep, but you've gone and ruined that now, so thanks."

I stood up, not bothering to make my bed before heading over to the laundry room to dispose of my singular sock, Bidy and Babs following behind me.

"I guess I'll just get ready early."

Both cats meowed at the same time.

"And I guess I can feed you two. Unless dad started putting the Meow Mix in a different place, in which case you're screwed for another thirty minutes."

I walked down to the kitchen. Luckily, within the time span of nearly my entire existence, Dad hadn't moved the location of the cat food, so Bidy and Babs got their little feast early.

Their fancy feast.

I'm sorry, that was a really cringy cat food joke.

Moving swiftly on, I went back upstairs and got ready. I won't dwell on the details of that though. Mostly because it's boring as hell and I've already wasted enough time dwelling on the cat food situation.

I managed to finish with twenty minutes to spare, which was a lot for me because I usually had no minutes to spare.

I blame Bidy and Babs.

I went back down to the kitchen, and since I was a lazy piece of shit, I just slammed some bread into the toaster and ate it plain.

It was around that time that Eddie came downstairs, still wearing pajama pants and clearly not planning to change them anytime soon.

"Morning!"

"Mornin'."

He went into the fridge and grabbed the loaf of bread. Being the animal he is, he started eating it straight out of the bag. And then as a little cherry on top, he started drinking the milk straight out of the carton. Barbaric.

"So, are you excited for your first day at Charlotteville High?"

"No. High school is like the seventh level of hell."

"Not true, school is fun! Okay, well maybe the work part isn't fun, but the socializing part is!"

"No, it isn't."