The Two of Us

In the Peanut Butter

I pushed my math homework into the stack of papers that were already occupying my desk, deciding to give up on it for the time being.

'I can't focus. That's fun. That's okay. I didn't want to be productive anyway.'

I shoved my pencil in between the middle and ring fingers on the mannequin hand sitting beside the papers and spun my chair around. Upon doing so, I spotted my brother passing by my room with his clown doll tucked under one arm and something else under the other.

"Hey, Ed," I called out, "whatcha got there?"

Eddie stopped and backed up a bit, the items he was carrying obnoxiously hitting the walls of the hallway as he attempted to turn and face me. "Oh, I saw Leslie and Freddy sneakily trying to put something in a locker, so I went over and asked what it was. And once they told me, I decided that I wanted one for myself!"

He placed the mystery object down.

It was a cardboard cutout of him holding up a jar of peanut butter, which had a harmonica sticking out of it.

'Great. Now I have two things to worry about scaring the shit out of me when I get up in the middle of the night.'

"Hey, wait, isn't that my harmonica?"

He looked at the cutout, then back at me. "...Maybe."

"Eddie!" I exclaimed. "I've been looking for that!"

"Sorry! I guess I forgot to take it out after I was done."

I pinched the bridge of my nose. "Okay, but like, the problem isn't that you forgot to take it out, it's that you put it in there in the first place. Instruments don't belong in peanut butter, just like how Dad's marbles don't belong in mayonnaise."

"Sorry," Eddie said again, starting to run away as I got up. "I'll buy you another one if it's ruined!"

That boy was an enigma.

I headed downstairs and walked into the kitchen, where Dad was waiting for whatever he had put in the microwave to finish heating up. "Hey, what are you in here for?"

"My harmonica." Before he could say anything in response, I opened up one of the cabinets, pulled out the jar of peanut butter, and took the lid off. Sure enough, there was my poor harmonica, drowning in peanuts in the form of butter.

I pulled it out. This thing was gonna need a deep cleaning.

"Why is that in there?"

"Ask Eddie," I replied. "Where's the toolbox?"

"In the trunk of my car. My keys are on the coffee table. You have about ten minutes to get whatever you need before I leave."

"Okay, thanks, Dad."

After retrieving what I needed from the toolbox, I disassembled my harmonica and cleaned that fucker out the best I could. And I managed to do it in record time because I was gonna need to start getting ready soon.

The literal moment that I finished, somebody knocked on the door.

Well, maybe I shouldn't say "knocked" because that would imply that they stopped after a couple of knocks. Y'know, like a normal person. No, no, it was continuous.

If not for the fact that I'm so short, I would've gotten hit directly in the face with the knocker's fist upon opening the door.

"Oh shoot, I nearly clocked ya jus' now!" Cassie said. "Sorry 'bout that."

"It's fine. Uh... what are you doing here? Did I get the time you guys told me wrong like a total dumbass?"

"Nah, we jus' thought we'd drop by an' offer ya a ride 'cause ya said ya didn't have a license."