Secret // jaehyungparkian

13

The clock strikes eleven and I'm still up giggling into my phone with Younghyun on the other line. We exchange pleasant goodbyes and I hear my mother trudging up the stairs. I quickly blow a kiss to the boy on the other line and end the facetime as my mother barges in.

"Jaehyung." She greets coldly.

"Mother." I acknowledge her.

"Why are you up this late, and being so loud? Phone." She demands.

"Mom!" I say, she rolls her eyes at me and holds out her hand. I realize I don't have time to delete messages or call logs.

"Don't 'Mom' me, Jaehyung. I won't ask again, phone." I reluctantly hand it over and she proceeds to tap things in front of me. I see my phone app open.

"Who is 'Younghyun (with the heart)'", she asks, brow raised.

"No one." I lie through my teeth. She scoffs lightly.

"No dating until college." She states. "You know the rules. I don't care who this boy is, no dating."

"Mother, why?" I whine. "He doesn't inflict anything on my grades, I swear."

"It doesn't matter, Jaehyung. You need to focus on school." She won't budge. Time to bust out the big guns.

"Just because you screwed up and didn't go to college, doesn't mean I won't." I snip. "Plus, I don't think Younghyun is going to music school with me."

"Music school?" She snorts. "Jaehyung, you don't understand, that won't help you provide!" She shouts.

"Provide for who? My imaginary boyfriend?"

"Jaehyung."

"Mother. What are you worried about? Me getting knocked up and dropping out? Oh, wait, that was you." I shout. Her face drops and she gains an expression of hurt and anger.

"Go to sleep." She fumes. She dangles my phone in my face. "You'll get this back when you show me some damn respect." She spits the last word back into my face and storms out of my bedroom.

I flop down onto my bed. Was that too harsh? I've seen her angry, almost every day, but never that hurt. I'll apologize tomorrow but I just need some sleep right now.

I wake up and go downstairs extra early to apologize to my mother and get my phone back. All the lights are off, unusual for my early rising mother, the only light comes from her room. I walk and stick my head in the frame and see my mom face down on her table, desk light still on. I creep closer and see her cheeks are tear-stained. I tap her shoulder and she jolts awake.

"Mom?" I whisper softly, staring her in the eyes. She looks up at me desperately and I feel so much remorse.

"I'm really sorry, Mom." I whisper. She hugs me tightly and starts to cry.

"I'm sorry too, Jaehyung. You can go to music school, it was wrong of me to limit your dreams like that."

"Really?-

"No boyfriends though, I'm serious." moment slightly ruined.

—

I sit down at the lunch table and wait for everyone to show up. Jae sits next to me and rests his head on my shoulder.

"Hey, I texted you last night and you didn't respond." I say softly, but not accusingly.

"My mom and I got in a fight and I got it taken, I'm sorry!" Jae apologizes. "She gave it back this morning, but it's dead and I couldn't charge it in Park's class." He shudders.

Our three other friends join us at the lunch table and Jae sighs in relief.

"Sungjin! Thank god! Do you have your charger?" He asks. Sungjin sets his bag down on the table and rustles through it. Jae snatches the blue cord and rushes to the nearest wall to plug in his phone. He sets his bag over it for security and walks back to our table.

The five of us talk about our weekends and Jae barely touches his plate. I motion to Sungjin, Wonpil, and Dowoon that I need to talk to him and I grab his hand.

"Grab your bag, we're going for a walk."

We walk hand in hand around the school track and I kiss him on the cheek.

"Wanna tell me what's goin' on?" I ask nicely. Jae sighs deeply and refuses to meet my eyes.

"My mom saw our calls and texts and wants me to break up with you." He sniffs in between sentences. "I don't want to, I love being with you."

"Is it because..." I trail off and let him fill in the blank.

"Oh no. She doesn't care that you're male, she just doesn't want me to stray from my school work." He explains.

"Why would she think you would?" I ask quietly.

"Her own experiences. She didn't go to college because she was too busy having me."

"Oh. I see. Well if you aren't allowed to, maybe..."

"No!" He cuts me off quickly. "It may be what my mother wants, but it's my decision."

The bell rings and we make eye contact for what seems like forever.

"Come on, I'll walk you to class." I say, heading towards the school.

"Your class is too far from mine!" Jae complains, for my sake.

"It's fine, I'll be late."

I sit in my last class, not paying attention as Ms. Moon explains the social effects of some failed protest in some country I don't care about. I can only think about Jae and how his mother's story related so much to his situation and how I can finally understand the part of him that has been a mystery not only to me but our friends. Even though he refused, I cant help but think of how much better he would be without me weighing him down. Yeah, we've only been on one actual date but our relationship spans back to the beginning of the year where we were just two accounts, with secret feelings, and minds for mischief.

"Kang!" Ms. Moon's voice booms. "I said, who orchestrated the protest?"

"Can I go to the nurse?" I ask, dodging her question. She looks angry.

"Take the pass."

I get up with my bag and roam the halls, not wanting to actually go to the nurse and get force fed saltines and a certain brown-haired boy catches my eye.

"Jae?" I say. He looks up from the floor and rushes over to hug me.

"Younghyun! Why are you out here?" He asks, burying his head on my shoulder.

"Asked to go to the nurse just so I could clear my head. Are you okay, why are you out here?" I ask, holding him tighter.

"Anxiety. I'm allowed to take time off from certain classes, electives being one of them." He looks very upset and he looks down on me.

"I hoped to find you here, obviously someone is on my side." He jokes looking up. "I'm feeling very conflicted and anxious about us and my mom."

I kiss his forehead and smile at him.

"Hey, I know what we can do." An idea pops into my head. "You have your bag, right?"

"Uh huh." He responds.

"There's fifteen minutes left of class and a gate at the back of the school that remains unlocked. Some seniors cut the camera wires so no one can see us. Wanna go to the park?"

"Skip class?" He asks, amazed at the proposal.

"Not skip, just... sorta dip." I try to justify it but Jae is way ahead of me. He pulls me to the nearest exit.

"Let's go!"

i love this story im ngl