In My Memories | Suicidal Villain Todoroki x Depressed Bakugou

4 | Hatred is the Best Remedy

Katsuki Bakugou

With my nails biting into Todoroki's neck and my grip draining the life and energy out of him, I smirk silently to myself as he twists his lips up and feebly stretches his neck back for air. His scrunched eyes are twitching, and I can imagine they probably feel like they're about to pop right out of his head. The taut, straining muscles in his neck begin to quiver and crawl beneath my grasp as his body dangles a few inches above the ground.

How does it feel to literally be suffocating, huh? I think to myself as a disgruntled whine—a soft groan—squirms its way up from the back of his throat and slips out of his slightly open mouth. This is how I've felt with every passing day ever since that goddamn day! What have you felt? You haven't felt jack shit, so it's about time you ate up some of the horrible feelings that I've had. It's time you choked on what you shoved down my throat.

Watching as Todoroki offers minimal effort to struggle against me, time almost feels as if it's been solidified. Seeing him haplessly dangle from my hands with such a cadaverous and pregnable appearance puts a small smile on my face, and yet it skins my heart with a knife.

The hell are you doing, Katsuki? I ask myself as Todoroki's shoulders jerk back. Dammit, even though I want him dead, every part of me tells me it's wrong. Besides, it'd be one damn mistake to strangle him here in our dorm. Who the hell else but me would be blamed? Obviously no one. Now I'm thinking like this, huh?

"I'm sorry..." he hisses abjectly through his clenched teeth as the pale blue creeping onto his face overtakes and consumes his consciousness.

SHIT. A desolate frown curves my lips down as I stare in utter disbelief at Todoroki, who's passed out in my grip. Get your hands off of him, Katsuki! Despite what I command myself, I find that I'm paralyzed in place. You're gonna kill him! With a rugged grimace, I finally pry my hands off of his neck, causing his body to collapse into a heap on the floor. Shit...that was way too close.

"Oi, get up," I mumble under my breath, even though I'm acutely aware Todoroki won't be responding to me. "Tch! Have I lost it?" Releasing a heavy snort from my nostrils, I scoop up Todoroki's fallen body and begin to walk him to his bed. He's a bit lighter than I anticipated, and only now do I realize that—when I'd been strangling him, my mind had been undergoing a burning bedlam of turmoil.

But I stopped myself, I remind myself, laying Todoroki onto his bed. If I really hated him, I wouldn't have hesitated at all. No. No, that's just bullshit. I do hate him with every fiber of my being. I just won't stoop as low as killing for pleasure. The thought makes me sick! I lour to myself and stare down at his pained sleeping expression. That sleeping face of his is pretty adorable... Goddammit, what the actual hell am I thinking? Yeah, I admit it! He's cute, hot and handsome, but behind all that is a twisted psycho that I absolutely despise. Watching Todoroki's chest gently rise and fall somewhat comforts me, but once I realize that I think this, I return to scowling.

Sighing, I look down at my hands that were asphyxiating Todoroki just moments ago. My hands tinged vaguely with red are shaking and incredibly warm. These very same hands are the ones I used to carry Todoroki and Deku around with.

"Kacchan, you're running so fast!" Midoriya laughed while riding on my shoulders and sticking his arms out to his sides like a bird gliding through the sky. "It's like I'm flying!"

After landing Midoriya safely on the ground, I walked up to Todoroki, who had been watching the two of us from afar. He glanced up at me with a smile, but something about that smile seemed off. For the time being, I shrugged it off and offered for him to also ride on my shoulders.