In My Memories | Suicidal Villain Todoroki x Depressed Bakugou

9 | "I'm fine..."

Katsuki Bakugou

Despite the inclination to follow the enticing allure of the impulse instructing me to follow my herd of thoughts like a sheep, I instead find myself snarling and ripping into the warm flesh of the fluffy animals trouncing through my mind as I begrudgingly march towards the door. After stepping outside the dorm and locking the damn door—unlike a certain Half 'n Half Heartbreaker—I peer down the hallway to see that the dial above the elevator is indicating that the elevator is going up to the roof.

He wasn't even planning on coming back down after playing the piano for whatever reason? Wait, why the hell is he even going to the roof? Don't tell me he's planning on jumping like a wuss. Not that I can blame... Fuck it.

Awaiting the prolonged return of the elevator to the fifth floor fills my body with chilling jolts. I swear, it feels like hours are running past my eyes as the thin, brass-colored needle in the shape of a curved arrow above the elevator gradually leans over to point to the fifth floor. Once the needle finally stops and a soft ding! rings out from the elevator, I walk inside and swiftly jam my index finger into the button to travel to the roof.

I can't believe I actually have to grab you not once, but twice, because apparently you're so damn recalcitrant, I think as the gleaming silver doors slide back into place with a soft, subtle whirring noise. But tell me you aren't actually going to jump. I know damn well that I repeatedly said I hate you and that you should burn in hell, but... Tch. Katsuki, you should burn in hell for what you've done. Words don't mean a damn thing, but hell are they sharp to the mind. If he jumps because of you...

Holding my boiling breath as I rise up to the roof, I animatedly exhale as a frigid wave shoots down my body. He didn't, I tell myself, lingering in liquid trepidation as it saturates my mouth, coating it with an acerbic bitterness. There's no way he did. He didn't jump, Katsuki. He didn't jump off of the damn roof. HE DIDN'T! A sharp, jarring stab of an intense heat shatters the bleak numbness enveloping my body as a gentle ding! pierces the air and the distorted waves of blurred yellow streaking along the sleek silver surface of the elevator doors rolls along to the sides, engulfed by the shadows.

The hefty pattering of rain strikes the rooftop like miniature bullets; even in the distance, the hiss of rain continues to sizzle and pop. Ominous clouds of charcoal sulk in the sullen sky, effectively obscuring the white waves of the moon from washing up onto the drenched land below. The biting howl of the wind whisks the mildly torrential downpour across my face, slapping my cheeks and forcing me to squint my eyes in order to shield them. The warming yellow glow from the elevator soon thins out once the doors close, stranding me in the cold's inky embrace.

I shouldn't be feeling all these damn emotions, I thought to myself while standing atop the peak of a roof scraping the snow-colored sky. Why can't life just be easy? Why...can't I control how I feel like everyone tells me to? 'What you feel and how you behave is your choice' this, and, 'You have absolutely no right to feel angry, you understand?' that. Yeah, I'm angry, but I'm angry at myself.

"I guess it's all gonna stay in my dreams," I muttered, bringing myself another foot closer to the edge of the roof. Heroes like All Might are awesome and powerful, like the person I wanna be, but I don't really want to be here anymore—not when everything is crumbling before my eyes. "I'll be a hero...in my next life."

Then, as I steeled myself to leap while sliding off my shoes, a confounded, squeaky voice smashed through the tranquil ambience of the slight wind coursing through the air. "Wait!" I whipped my head around to see a short, petite boy with frisky green hair and cinnamon-colored freckles. "Please, wait! H-Hey, please don't d-do it!"