In My Memories | Suicidal Villain Todoroki x Depressed Bakugou

11 | Love Leaves Scars

Katsuki Bakugou

Dampened sobs creep up over the thunderous downpour pummeling against everything within its reach from the louring sky. An ardent heart knocks and kicks incessantly on my chest as if it's an object being fervently shaken in a glass jar while another vigorous pulse taps along the slightly smudged edges of the rattling jar. Hot, sporadic breaths trace divergent lines along the moist side of my neck, swiftly caressing the erect hairs slightly sagging in the rain. Haplessly quivering limbs cling steadily to my body, grappling onto me like the feeble hands of a child to a trinket they consider to be invaluable.

Todoroki, you're crying, and it was me who made you cry. Shit, I'm sorry! "All I want is the truth, Todoroki," I whisper under my breath and into his ear. "Don't just say you love me when you don't. Don't lie to my face—don't lie to yourself! Nothing I've done deems me as worthy of being someone you admire in any way. But you—"

Burying his face into the crook of my neck, as if to shut himself away from the crushing reality of the world, Todoroki growls, "I am not deceiving you...K-Katsuki." The chip in his previously austere voice upon uttering my first name with his sonorous voice causes my spine to tingle and my heart to leap up. "You have done nothing to earn any resentment from me," he declares through rough sobs. "I simply lost my composure at...inauspicious occurrences. I should not have thought so critically of your words." As he begins to relax into my steadfast embrace, I maneuver my fingers through his hair and reassuringly stroke his head like I once did.

Goddammit! You're practically tantalizing me with the thought of the radiant sun finally breaking over the horizon and disintegrating the perpetual smog we're both disoriented in. "Shut up," I hush him, now suddenly overcome with the longing to pamper him like we'd both delivered to each other so many years ago. "Stop trying to justify my heinous actions. Now that I can see somewhat clearly again, it's a goddamn miracle you didn't let your life completely go to waste. Todor—no, Shouto—I'm begging you—" I pry myself away from his tenacious hold and hang my head down into my knees— "don't die now. Shouto, lemme repeat myself: I'm begging you...don't die now. I...I never wanted you dead. Shouto, I miss the times when we were all smiling together. You're right, I sound like a damn idiot spewing this kinda shit, but it's the whole truth, and nothing but the truth." Pulling my head up from my pants that have swelled from being submerged in the onslaught of rain, I reluctantly look up to Todoroki—the placid, seductive piece of shit that I mustered up every excuse to detest—from my pregnable position beneath him.

"I understand that. As I stated previously, I do not intend to deceive you." The hollow glint in his mired eyes is an echo of the resplendent melody he composed on the piano. His tear-stained features gleam with a reposeful air as they're vaguely illuminated by the tender saffron glow of the 1-A Alliance building below. "Katsuki, after that day, I began to contemplate my feelings. When I realized how foolish I was, I was unable to go back—although painstakingly axiomatic, I couldn't simply revoke my words and reverse the damage. Despite the unbearable itch afflicting me, it would not subside...regardless of how intensely I may have clawed at it." His eyes narrow as he gives his head a small shake. "Ah. Sorry, I didn't mean to expatiate this matter."

A firm hand unfurls before me. Mere minutes ago, I would have declined such an invasive hand groping through my pride, but now it almost feels...right to accept it. It's not like I want to write an ulterior message screaming that even I need help, but I'm nothing more than a mere human; there are perils I can't possibly hope to explore alone.

I extend my hand out to the one exposed in the cool air, clasping it fast as it tugs me up to my feet. "Hey... I know you can't forgive me, and I don't want you to excuse anything I've done, but I just want to make it eminently clear that I love you." I'm thankful to have the to night mask the redness burning on my cheeks. I know you waltzed your way around what I was implying, but I'll get you to spit out the truth one of these days.