In My Memories | Suicidal Villain Todoroki x Depressed Bakugou

Alternate Ending

Katsuki Bakugou

With Todoroki merely the katana's length away from me, I spot an opening through my warped vision to bring down the beast once and for all.

Now. NOW, KATSUKI! Don't let this paramount opportunity go to waste! Roll to his backside, get up, and finish it!

Perishing the groping hands of my memories milling around my mind, I slink along the drenched ground, slithering around Todoroki's legs as the blade of his katana soars in an arc at my previous location. Lunging like a deranged lion charging into a battlefield, I slam into Todoroki, unprepared for him to twist into a position for his spine to hit the ground as the dagger of ice in my hand perforates his flesh like a predator crunching its jaws down into its prey.

This damn frost... I miscalculated! Fuck, where did I impale?

Now mercilessly hovering above Todoroki with his own blade in my hand protruding from his chest, I jam his wrist opposite my occupied hand into the ground and stare down to observe the protrusion of the dagger.

Did this miscalculation serendipitously work in my favor? If I struck through his heart, then...

"Fair and square have you won," Todoroki mutters with a grim, debilitating smile. "Exceptional job, Katsuki." His tepid breaths are drowned into the surrounding coolness of the rain.

No, I must have just barely missed. Goddammit! I'm so fucking sorry, Shouto.

Failing to repress my tears from falling, I begin to steel myself for the denouement I'd expended all of my adrenaline on to have ultimately been degraded due to a miscalculation. "I'm...sorry," I sob, peeling back my lips as my eyes meet Todoroki's iridescent eye; his eye widens ever so slightly, as if he's managed to connect the dots. His grin only extends further along his cheeks as his body completely relaxes.

Don't...look at me like that! Don't g-give me that vanquished look. That hapless, despondent look. Like you have nothing left in you anymore. Like I just r-revoked all meaning and worth. Like you knew this was bound to happen. Like you want this. Like...this whole damn time, you just wanted someone to bring it all to an end to where you might, therefore, abdicate your position as a villain. As if...everything you said about being a villain was a lie, even though I understand that it's all true. Don't smile now. Don't give me that. Not now.

Gripping the dagger plunged into Todoroki's chest, I begin to slide it out from the flesh it's lodged between, as if unsheathing a sword. Drawing the hilt towards my chest, my eyes twitch as I internally begin a war with myself.

A soft, sonorous voice beckons to me through the soaked breaths slinking through the air. "When Death draws ever near...isn't it funny how much you realize you regret? How much more you wanted to achieve? How... How blind you've been?" His fractured smile gleaming among the razed ice strewn across the ground tantalizes my lips with a promise of perpetuated love.

I-I can't. Fuck! If I'm wrong, I'd be committing a murder with justification that is no longer valid. I'm dubious of every single damn thing I'm doing now. I don't want to make the wrong move. I'm not ready to be torn open by my regrets again. My regrets are the things I just can't run away from. They're always there. I try to accept, move on, and forget, but I just c-can't. I can't let myself do that. I can't. I can't...

Maneuvering Todoroki onto my thighs, with an astringent voice do I inquire, "What do you regret? What do you still wanna achieve? What have you been blind to?" Peering into the resplendent depths of the ocean of blue beneath me, the familial twitch of a seemingly obsolete emotion resides behind the synthetic film of blue masking a storm-gray.