Anastasia

27

"'Love them, then destroy them. That's wrong, isn't it? But, why are they doing it anyway?'"

Ana had been staring at her laptop for an hour now, the first slide still as white as snow.

"Anastasia?" Zachary waved his hand over her face, snapping her out of her reverie. She tucked a lock of hair behind her ears, still caught in a daze. Her eyes riveted from her laptop screen to him and back to the white screen again, blinking.

"Are you alright?" he asked with concern, closing his textbook and turning to face her, his attention wholly on the girl. It's disturbing to Zachary. She was perfectly all right that morning, so why the sudden change in mood? Did someone do something to her? It was also weird, because when he entered class, he didn't find Astrid anywhere and she only came back a quarter after ten, her eyes slightly red and looking dazed. She didn't even look in his direction; she just stumbled her way up the stairs and plonked down at the last row lethargically. Her dress code was full black, and her hair was not the way she had taken such care of. Zachary wanted to ask her what was wrong but he decided against it, for he didn't want to strike another argument.

"I'm alright." she managed a small smile, but he could see through that smile of hers.

"Are you sure?" he probed again, and she pulled her gaze away from him, her mouth slightly apart as if she wanted to say something but she was holding back. Out of fear?

"Okay, I don't want to sound like a nose poker, but I just want to tell you that I met Astrid in the toilet - coincidentally. She looked kind of, off. That's all. You should check up on her," she shrugged, glancing at him fleetingly before looking down again. Zachary couldn't believe his ears. Check up on her? Was she asking him to sign up for a death wish?

His face hardened. "No."

"But you're her boyf-"

"I said no. That's her problem." he leaned back on his seat, folding his arms defensively. Ana frowned, still unable to comprehend as to why he didn't want to help her.

"Why?"

"She always tries out new things, so I wouldn't be surprised."

"Do you think she's on drugs?" she lowered her voice to a low rumble, leaning toward him so that their faces were inches away from each other. He studied her face, which was painted with concern.

"Why are you so worried about her?" he questioned, and Ana's expression took on another look of surprise. She seemed to ask herself that question, because she became awfully quiet.

"I..." she faltered, unable to come up with an answer. She used to bully me, and now here I am expressing concern for my nemesis. How hilarious. She smiled to herself, then started chuckling lowly.

"What's so funny?"

"Oh, it's nothing." No, it's not. The problem is my weak heart and wanting to help even those who have given me a hard time. She forced a smile as best as she could, and Zachary seemed to buy it, because his face had softened and returned her with a smile of his own.

"By the way, how do you know Astrid?" he poked her with a question, and Ana tensed.

"I knew her since when I was a kid." she curled her fingers around her water bottle, digging her nails into the skin between her fingers.

"Oh, I see." Zachary nodded his head. He saw her knuckles turning white. Her hands were trembling subtly. She was trying to hide her fear, but he could see it nevertheless. "Did anything bad happen?"

"You mean she used to bully me? Yeah," she chuckled, her eyes not meeting his. She figured that there's no point in trying to hide anything from him. She never hides, anyway. That's her personality. "But that was in the past." The finality in her voice hinted Zachary to stop pressing further. He reached the end of the line.

"Then why would you want to help her even though she treated you badly?" he asked tacitly.

"I don't like to see people suffering." she replied plainly, without a second thought. Her answer had made Zachary's heart reach out to her, and the gears in his head had rearranged its perspective on Ana. Such a big hearted person. But where is the good in that? In the end, it would only get her hurt.

It was then he realised, that he didn't know a single thing about Anastasia.

He doesn't know her the way he thought he did.