Anastasia

51

Anastasia's backstory

"Six and a half out of twenty?" The piece of paper shook violently in her mother's hand. Anastasia stood rigid in front of the towering figure, head down. This paper wasn't hers; it wasn't her handwriting at all. Why couldn't she see that? Can she not even recognise her own daughter's handwriting?

"But I did study for the test, mother." she whimpered. She couldn't tell her that somebody changed her name. She wouldn't believe her. Nobody would. Except James.

"Then explain this." her mother hissed. She yanked her daughter's collar roughly towards her, their faces inches away from each other. Her dark, ebony eyes bored into her brown ones, which were wide with fear.

"Somebody -"

"You never blame anyone but yourself, do you?" her mother spat, saliva flying all over her face.

"Did I raise you to become a failure? Did I raise you to become a liar? No, you learnt all those from school, did you? All your disgusting friends have influenced you to become this way, am I right?"

Anastasia kept quiet, knowing that there was no point trying to convince her. She did not have many friends. All she had was Camillia, but even she had started to slowly drift apart from her because her mother wouldn't welcome any of her friends into her house.

Her mother never behaved like this. It was only when their father had passed on during a train accident when he was on his way back from a business trip. The news had brought devastation upon the family, affecting her mother the most. Anastasia never became so afraid of her mother before. On several nights, she would catch her mother talking to herself in her room, then start wailing. Just thinking of that made Ana shudder. She didn't want to think that her house was haunted, nor was her mother a crazy person.

"Answer me!" she yelled, and Anastasia shrank back instinctively. She broke away from her mother, sprinted up the stairs and slammed the door shut. She panted, putting her ear close to the door to pick up any sound of her mother climbing up the stairs.

Assuring herself that there was none, she quietly made her way to her bed, stepping at the crosses marked on the floor. There were times when her mother had forgotten to make dinner for the family, and so she had to creep downstairs to scavenge for any food left in the fridge. Sometimes, she would only find bottles of alcohol, and if she was lucky, a loaf of bread and some butter. Thus, making her way back to her room would be a challenge, because her mother had a habit of crashing at the couch after rounds of drinking.

Ana drew the duvet up to her chin, and turned on her side so her back was facing her brother, who was sleeping nearest to the door. He was clearly awoken by the commotion that happened just now, because he was restlessly tossing and turning in bed.

She knew he's got questions, too.

"Ana?"

"Yes?"

"Are you crying?"

She didn't expect that to be his first question. "No, just go to bed, James."

She heard the ruffling of his duvet, and silence followed. She felt the bed dip at the end of her bed and saw a huge bump under her duvet. His head popped out from under the covers and cuddled next to her, his hair tickling her nose. He looked up, his blue eyes dark and innocent.

Ana smiled, combing her hand through his hair. "I'm alright." At the age of five, he had to experience such a violent family, filled with so much tragedy. She couldn't help but want to run away with her brother to anywhere else except this hell-hole. But where can they go? They had no one to rely on.

"I believe you, Ana. I know you didn't cheat." he whispered.

"Thank you, Jam."

He was quiet, for awhile. She thought he was already asleep when he spoke.

"I miss papa. And bread with jam."

Ana chuckled, and kissed the top of his forehead. "I miss him too, Jam. Perhaps we can have your favourite strawberry jam with bread in your dreams, how about that?"

"That sounds nice," he yawned, and sighed heavily. The next thing she knew, his breathing became slower and more rhythmic. She drew him closer to her, sharing the warmth between them on a cold, rainy night.

"I promise I will work hard, and get a scholarship, get a good job, and support us." Ana whispered to herself, holding on to that promise as she closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.