Rosie

Chapter 12 - Rosie

I've been avoiding Leo and Sam successfully for almost an entire week. After Sam and I kissed during the party it turned awkward very quickly. We both didn't say anything for a while after we just looked awkwardly at each other for a while. When we really realized what happened he quickly disappeared inside, I took a moment to recollect myself and then I went looking for Grey. Once the party over, Leo drove us back home and I haven't seen him since. It is Thursday, tomorrow Grey and I are leaving for a little pre-Christmas trip. We always do that because we are never together for Christmas. We are coming back on Monday and Wednesday I'll be leaving for France. I told Grey what happened, and she forced me into meeting with Leo today because she knows that otherwise, I will succeed in avoiding him until after the new year.

So that brings me back here, sitting in the small coffee shop on campus waiting for Leo. I asked him to come here earlier today.

I see him arrive from miles away with his bright red winter coat. My heart sinks in my chest. I am in no way looking forward to this conversation. How do you tell your boyfriend that you kissed his roommate/friend while you were already having relationship problems because he thought that this would happen? The most shameful part of this is that I don't even feel totally guilty. Yes, I feel guilty because this is going to hurt him and because I should never have kissed Sam back. But on the other side, I don't regret the kiss itself happening. I wonder if Sam does.

Leo walks through the door and I see him looking around. I wave at him. He sees me and gives me a nod. He orders a coffee before coming over. Only causing my nervousness to rise even more.

"Hey, you're okay? Your text seemed a bit... tense" he says pulling back the chair in front of me.

"Yeah, I'm fine" for now.

He directly jumps into the conversation when he sits down "How was your week?".

"Okay, I guess, busy because of the upcoming holidays" I play with my coffee cup. I stir the coffee inside of it. Spin the cup around slowly. "Yours?" I look at the dark liquid swirling in my cup it makes me a bit dizzy.

"Good! I got my car fixed so I can go home for the holidays. We had business class earlier this week and I don't know if Grey told you but..." I zoom out of the conversation. Watching the coffee calm down. I think about a way to tell him what happened. I don't want him to think that it is his fault. Because it isn't on him it is only on me. He has been a good boyfriend, for the biggest part of the time. Sure, he had his moments but doesn't everybody. I on the other side, I've been a terrible girlfriend.

Looking at Leo again I suddenly realize that Grey is right. No matter how harsh it sounds. I'm never going to love Leo. I have strong feelings. Strong friendship feelings but this isn't going to work, I see that now. I need to put this miserable relationship out of its misery.

I tune into his story again "... so I told him that...".

"Sam and I kissed" I blurt out interrupting him.

He sighs in defeat and put his coffee cup down. Intertwining his hands and putting them on the table. He keeps his stare on them for a few seconds.

"When?" he looks up at me.

I look down "Friday".

He sighs deeply "Why?".

"I don't know, we were outside, and it just happened" I realize when looking at Leo that saying this isn't helping the situation. He looks defeated and angry at the same time.

His tone gets a bit louder "It just happened!".

"Yes," I reply with a small voice. I don't know what else to say.