Tomorrow is the day, the day that I leave with the performing arts program to showcase the school. I'm looking forward to it, to get away from all the drama, from all my problems, and most of all getting away from the biggest secret that I'm keeping.
I am so excited to spend five days with my besfriends, showing that I can be that happy girl I once used to be, hopefully my smile will be real in comparision to the fake one I have used for nearly two years. One day someone will understand other than my favourite teacher.
"Ally have you packed for tomorrow? I'm not packing for you and you know your father is not happy with getting up to be your taxi at 4 in the morning! Get off the stupid computer and finish packing!"
The retched screams come from downstairs, I can never escape them. You know how girls my age being 17, say their mother is their best friend and they can tell anything to. That's all I can wish for. I can't stand my mother, she knows it and I don't care.
Mum has never cared about me, all she cares about really are my marks in school and what I look like. She doesn't care about my mental state even though she knows that I suffer from depression but you know that's one big imperfection and she can't be assosciated with imperfections. I have replaced mum with my favourtie teacher, I feel horrible about that but she knows me more than I know myself, and way more than mum ever will.
I look down at my bag I am packed just need toiletries and that's for the morning. I look across the room at my desk and see the shining silver edge of my razor under all my textbooks so no one can see it, do I take it or leave it I think to myself.
