Their Doll ✔️

Four

I felt my entire body shake violently. I was gasping for air, desperate to take a deep calming breath, but it wasn't coming. Tears were running down my cheeks, and the cold floor against my back wasn't helping my attempts to relax. I have never felt like this before.

I have never done anything like this before.

What is wrong with me?

They are going to take me back.

If they find me like this, they will take me back.

My throat was sore from my attempts to regulate my breathing. I didn't realize I was hyperventilating until I nearly choked on a deep breath.

I almost felt as if I was going to die.

There was no sign of calming down, and no sign of getting out of this situation. I was going to suffocate if I didn't do something.

My thought were interrupted however, when a warm touch started to wipe my tears from my face, and a soothing deep voice started to comfort me. I felt myself being lifted, and then warmth surrounding me, and my body falling into an embrace.

I didn't even realize my eyes were closed until i opened them. My vision was blurry from my tears, but I recognized the necklace I was staring down at, realizing my face was tucked into someones' neck.

Yoongi.

I could feel his hand running up and down my back in a soothing motion, then the ringing in my ears started to go away. I could hear bits and peics of his deep voice, coxing me to breath in and out, and to clear my mind. My disorientation slowly left me, and I was starting to be able to breathe easier.

I was holding onto his soft shirt with my fists tightly, but it was helping me regain control of myself. After a while I could understand him more clearly.

"Wiggle your toes for me." He said.

What?

"Come on babe, wiggle your toes." I focused and did as I was asked, eliciting a praise from him. "Now straighten your legs..." I did. "...flex your arms..." I did. "...can you open your hand?"

I focused the muscles of my fingers and was able to let go of the stretched out fabric. His hand immediately ran through my hair from behind my ear, and his mouth got closer to my face.

"Can you breathe?"

I nodded. "Yes." I managed to squeak out.

He kept running his fingers through my hair over and over, and the warmth of the bathroom felt comfortable on my skin. After so long, I felt like I was back to normal, other than the heaviness of my chest.

"Thank you." I said.

"You are most welcome, can you tell me what happened?"

"I just feel so confused."

"What's confusing?"

"I was made for a purpose...and I feel as if my purpose was taken from me. But logically I know that what you and all of your family are offering me is better than what I was designed for. But it's so overwhelming. I feel lost."

And it was true. I was fully aware that what they told me, what they were offering was the best thing that could ever happen o someone like me. But it still didn't make a difference inside. My body was on a clock, almost like a drug.

Maybe I needed to go through the painful withdraw to start over, but I was not ready for the panic attack I just experience.

"I'm sorry. I don't think we realized how something like that would affect you. We thought, you would be relieved."