thicc,,, to make up for the last chapter.
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"Foo Fighters is my big tiddy, green hair, plankton gf."
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"These grapes are so ugly, like- if this grape walked up to me I'd be scared out of my mind."
...
"If a grape walked up to me I'd be scared out of my mind."
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"When I was little I used to take the middle out of cherries and eat them."
"You ate the pit???"
"crunchy."
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"What even is an Applebee?"
"a bee the size of an apple."
"That's scary man."
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"Liz, could you fight a kangaroo?"
"Yeah."
"could you what?"
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"cripple in a wheelchair, where will he go?"
"Not very far, he's a cripple."
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"Can you have gay sex with me?"
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a woman on a bike with her child in a baby seat rides by while we're at lunch.
"Is that happy wheels?"
everyone in the group physically dies.
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the next day we saw her pass.
"HAPPY WHEELS"
"DO A FLIP"
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"Woke up, took a shit, got out of bed."
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"Stop, you're making fun of my king."
"No, I am your king."
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"how to be a functioning member of society"
"Step one: if you act like this, stop living."
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"Oh my god, Sarah asked my mom if she wanted to have gay sex."
"NOOOOOOOOOO-"
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"there isn't enough room for 'Abbacchio's piss'"
"Just do piss tea it's not like-"
"WHOS PISS TEA THOUGH"
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"if I killed you instantly, what would you do?"
"die?"
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the last two are from my biannual meet up with (Dio)nysus
"Your chances of getting run over by a giraffe in the mall are low; but never zero."
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"Let's just find the ugliest things in the store."
"oh, I found it." I then pointed at myself.
YOU ARE READING
Liz's incompetence
Randoman incomplete collection of quotes and occurrences through which my best friend (+ a few more) has put me through during calls, texts, and encounters. yeah that's her on the cover. begining: January 2017 end: ____
