day1 love

Chapter 6* just chilling like villians

He's got that intense look on his face again.

The one he gets when it's either about to get real ugly for somebody, or he's thinking about something he wants to talk to me about and doesn't know how to say it.

I don't know if it's directed at me, so I say, "hey, what's up with you?" playfully flicking water at him, while grinning.

He grins back and says, "nothing really. It just came to mind that you don't have nowhere else to go when you leave here, so I decided that you don't gotta go, I mean if you want you could stay here, with me"
aw, he actually looks nervous, like I'll turn his offer aside.

I smile at him and say, "I wanna stay here" he lost the look and said, "good then, but you need to get some clothes and shoes, all that girlie shit!
I was talking to my brother Smythe and he needs someone to clean up his front office and run it, you know, make some coffee, answer the phone, update the records into that computer system he just got.
What do you think, would like the job?

He will pay you too, you know!"

I couldn't help it, I felt like I was gonna really cry.

In the space of 24 hours I went from being almost desperate enough to end my life (even held the razor to my skin, looked at all the pills I could have taken but at the last second, I saw the crazy glue.)

From being abused and mistreated to this, an offer of a clean safe home, and a way to get some legit money.
That thrilled me to the tips of my now pruney toes!!

I accepted his offer and climbed from the tub, dressed in the very soft sweatpants he'd provided.
Although, I DID have to roll them about 6 times, before I could even see my feet.
The sweatshirt came to just about my knees .

He looked at me and cracked up, then threw his arm around me saying, "Yeah. You definitely need some new gear, lil bit"
"Anyways", he continued, still smirking down at me,"you was in the tub forever, and you sorta looked deep in thought when I first came in here. What's up with that?"

I told him.
He laughed loudly and said, "Yeah, man, I would've been the biggest idiot on the planet to believe them lies.
I was shocked when you proved I was the first"

I got a huge lump in my throat and wished wholeheartedly he had been my only.
But things had happened that I could never undo.

He saw the sadness creep into my visage, bent and softly kissed my temple.
"Ayye lil bit, get outta the past.
I forgave you for that, and I wasnt no saint either, you know"
It was his turn to look sheepish and sorry.
"Ayye" I returned, smiling my own smirk, as I lightly bumped my hip at him, "get outta the past, we moved past that"

He was talking about the one and only time he cheated on me, I found out because he told me himself he'd done it, and I'd quit him over it.

It was a horrible time for us and despite my best efforts, I remembered.

*** Flashback***

I came over as usual to see that Sammy was looking aggravated and miserable.
So I asked him what, if anything, was wrong.
He hung his head and said in a near whisper, "I gotta tell you something, and you are gonna hate me for it" he took hold of my hands, looked me dead in my eyes and said,
"Remember a week or so ago, when you were supposed to spend the night?"
I nodded.
Of course I did.
We had a pretty bad argument which ended in my walking home alone after he called me a baby for still having a curfew to abide by.
I had managed to get my mom to extend my time to 12, but I was with a man, one with his own crib, who had no circumstances that prevented him from coming and going as he pleased.

My mom knew this, and also knew I was sexually involved with him.
So she tried as much as she could to protect me by getting me on birth control, and setting the curfew with very few overnight sleepovers unless I could get "Melissa's mom" aka the shop lady, to ask if I could stay the night, in some cases the whole weekend to "babysit."

Hah, if she only knew how often we actually got it in, how many days Sammy would cut his beeper off and we would just get lost inside our own world, she probably would have had a fit.
But the night in question my mom wouldn't let me stay, saying she needed me home for a family game night.

Jeeze, moms can be such cock blockers!

The only shennanagins and games I wanted to play were with him!
I loved him so much it hurt. I felt incomplete without him.

I had told Sam this, and he was in a bad mood that day to begin with.
Someone in the upper ranks in his drug dealing hustle had come up extremely short on his payment.

Sammy had to make an example of him, and demote him back down to a street soldier, after beating the hell out of him.
He had really needed me that night, and I could not be there.

So, we argued instead, and he took his frustrations out on me, verbally berating me until i was reduced to actual tears.

Days passed, and I refused to take his calls, getting on the phone only once to say scathingly, "Babies can't hold conversations on the phone, waaa waaah!"
And then I banged on him!
Oh, yeah!
I could be very sarcastic and it almost always surprised him when someone, although it wasn't too often, ignited my temper.

Early the next morning after my comments, he'd shown up at my door, asking me to come over and looking like he hadn't slept.

My feelings were still hurt, but not enough to deny him and not make up!

We drove to the house in silence and when we got there he handed me a package.
It was a necklace just like the gold link chain he wore and the bracelet to match.
He took off his and fastened them on me, kissed me tenderly and told me he was sorry.
I mimicked his actions, securing my chain and bracelet on him.

We kissed and made up, the quarrel over, and me losing just a little more of my heart to him.

***End of Flashback***

I looked at him now, and said yes, that I remembered.
He closed his eyes and said, "I cheated on ya Nikole."

I slid my hands from his grip, sat on the couch and buried my head in my hands.

"Who?" I asked, trying not to cry.

"It don't matter lil bit." He said quietly,  "It ain't mean nothing, she don't mean nothing to me!
she was there, I was drunk and mad"

"So what did you do with her?
"You, you kissed her? Yu fucking slept with her!!!!" I asked
I was infuriated, and I needed answers.

He tried to grab my hands again and I said coldly, "Don't fuckin touch me Samuel James Docquerty!"

I realized that he kept trying to grab my hands, because he thought I might swing on him.

The thought did cross my mind, but since he had never hit me I wouldn't hit him.

"Hell no I ain't kiss that broad! She gave me head and thats it" he said with conviction.

I looked at him and said, "That's it huh, oh well, I hope it was worth it, cause this" I pointed at him, then pointed at myself,  "we're done, I quit"
I got up, gathered my dignity and walked out, without sparing him another word, or look.

My heart, however, I left right there with him.