day1 love

Chapter 18* complications

Sam's POV

As soon as Fancee and Nikole left, I wanted to go after them, make Nikole come back in the house where I could just know she was safe from anything out there in the world.

I know that's not a logical way to think, or to live either, but I loved that girl of mines with every part of me.

I didn't want her to be hurt or to feel even a seconds worth of pain.
I didn't want her to struggle or to have any doubts in life, ever.
That's why when she ghosted me, and I finally got her location, I left her be.

I just wanted her to be happy.

That didn't mean I had to be happy with it, and I really was a bit of a tyrant without her.

Okay, Stalin had nothing on me!

She was my soft side, my tenderness, my heart.

Without her, I wasn't me, which is why I'mma wife her up.
I really don't think im worthy of her but that selfish side of me can't imagine us, in a committed relationship, just like how we are now, without her having some measure of protection.

I wanted forever.

If anything ever happened to me, I didn't want anyone coming here and putting her, and now my twins, out in the streets, and then rummaging thru our belongings, divvying up the accumulation of our years together.

That wasn't fair to her.

Plus, it's a predisposition, a throwback to the days when men honored their women.
I had to claim her as truly mine, wouldn't allow her to be my girl forever without documentation.

The me that I was before her,
Back before I saw that flick of her with my cousin and wanted to meet her, I was somebody else.
That me, I was a player, a liar and a cheater who cared more about my money than any female, except for my momma and sisters.
That me, before I met her, prided myself on being "the man"
I treated girls as little more than someone to fuck to get my own needs met, and to send them on their way.

I didn't have time for no bitches, not after the way Nora had played me.

But Nikole changed me.

She gave me everything good of her, her humor, her smile, her heart, her loyalty, her virginity.

Even her temper when someone got her riled, they were all mine now.

I know, I know, in this day and age, dudes ain't supposed to care about stuff like that.
Who his girl was with before him, that's not really even his business.
I would act like I didn't give one fuck, because men ain't supposed to be bitch made, chumps, or pussies.
I did care who I went after, because you just never knew what type of time that dude was on.

I really was intent on quitting her the night I found out she was with my cousin, until she came over and instead of being all meek and letting me snap on her, she snapped on me!

She was little as shit, barely above 5 feet, but had the heart of a lioness!

Her temper turned me on, I was very used to everyone jumping to do shit how I wanted, and never saying nothing back to me, that her bossing up at me, it made me want her even more.

I would've been the dumbest mothafucka alive to let my corny, jealous cousin, on my mom's side of the family to make me quit her, for what turned out to be nothing more than sour grapes.

Oh well, I got the girl.

I gotta admit, when I knew I was her first, it did mean something to me.
It meant MY lil bitch waited her whole life, up to that point, even after being in another whole relationship, before me, and she waited till she knew she was ready.
I always kinda felt guilty cause I made her want to prove her innocence.