day1 love

Chapter 13*Riding

I looked at him, and replied to his question, was I gonna go on faith, was I gonna ride.

"Of course I'm gonna ride! Do you have any doubt? You raised me to, I'm just so scared, and it's all new to me.
How do you even know all these details about what my body's changes mean?" I asked him.
He knew about milk ducts and I was curious on how he knew this when he had no children.
He said, "so, you know that girl, the one you beat the hell up? My ex?"
I nodded, and he continued on, in a voice so laced with pain, I did a double take.
"Yeah, well, when I was in high school, in the 10th grade, I was with her and I got her pregnant.
We wasn't ready for no kid, I know that now, but I wanted it, even though I wasn't crazy about having her as my baby's momma, I told her to keep the baby.
She snuck behind my back, got an abortion anyway, lied to me, telling me she had a miscarriage.
I felt so miserable, and I wouldn't have known that she'd had that shit done, but I intercepted a phone call she herself asked me to get when I was over there one day.
The nurse said she needed a follow up to the procedure she had done.
I didn't know what that was at the time.
I relayed the message, watched her stammer and backtrack, and out and out lie to me, saying that a check up was needed after a D&C
She was damn near three months too, and a week after she got rid of my baby, my dick started burning.
She gave me the clap, and I quit her.

I was real mad that she burned me, we had been together on and off since middle school.
She always had a mouth on her too, real disrespectful especially when and if she got mad.
She said that she ain't give it to me it musta been one of my side hoes.
That backfired, cause I had cut every other chick off so I knew she was lying to me.
I can forgive a lot of shit, but I couldn't tolerate her lying about burning me, trying to flip the script, killing my kid and then getting smart with me on top of it all.
I never, in my whole entire life came as close to punching a female I was dealing with.
My so called father used to knock my ma around.
I can't fucking stand that bitch shit! Like fucking leave, or hit a wall or something, you don't put hands on a female! If I'm really done, and I'm never going back with her, for 100% I got girl cousins for that!
I looked shocked, cause even when we wasn't together no more, he ain't send nobody at me.
I asked him why that was, and he gave me a side eye, complete with grimace, and said, "yeah ok, like I would ever have you touched! Silly girl!
Anyways, the last thing she said to me was that she was glad she had an abortion and that it wasn't mines no way. She was lying about that too, I knew when I got her pregnant.
After her, I didn't ever go without protection again, even if I had a steady chick at the time.
They ain't like it, but it was what it was."
He was quiet for a few minutes, lost in a past I wasn't a part of.
"If you remember, the first time we did something, I was wrapped up!"
I nodded and said, with a little grin, "not the second time, though or anytime after it,"
He said "Aight, I gotta tell you something, but you might get pissed at me for it. I can't even act like I was gonna tell you, cause I wasn't!"
I looked at him strangely, said, "We can get through anything, as long as you straight up with me about it."
Again I used his own words on him, he was always saying that.
"Well," he said, running his hand over his face, "Uhh, okay, I was hitting it raw that first time too, actually!"
I asked, with a good bit of confusion in my tone, "What do you mean, I was there, I watched you put it on!"
He looked at me ruefully, and smirked at me when he said, "Just cause you seen me put that rubber on, don't mean it stayed on the whole time!
When I popped ya cherry, I took that shit right off! I felt like I didn't need it, hell, I was the first!" He looked, I don't know oddly proud that he was my first. I didn't think guys cared about that stuff.
Interesting.
He continued, a smile in his eyes, "You couldn't possibly burn me, and I really WAS tryna get you pregnant, lil bit"
He grinned and continued on, watching for an unfavorable reaction.
"I knew I was clean, I hadn't banged another chick for about a week before we even met, and I was protected that time.
That whole 3 months you had me waiting, I ain't cheat, I just couldn't fuck around on you. I have hands for that!"
I cracked up, he basically just told me he was masturbating rather than cheating.
"I always got tested too, after that shit with Nora, so you was safe, I swear!"
I blushed, and he asked me what had me turning colors this time, and I said, "It's just, I was so into it, I didn't even notice!"
We both laughed at that, him saying he knew I wouldn't be able to tell that he'd taken it off, having nothing to compare it with. I started giggling, my giggles gave way to hysterical laughing. When I finally collected myself I told him that a lot of my friends had told me sex with a glove on didn't feel as good. I never said anything back to that, but thought in my head that if it was better without the shield, I would likely die from pleasure.
Later of course, with Tris, for the first few months I made him wear them.
I thought he was just wack.
Even after he had taken it without my consent, and then every time after it he never wore one again.
It was still wack.
Coming back to the present, I asked Sam was he proud he that he finally managed to plant his seed and he said without a second's worth of hesitation, and a gleam in his dark brown gaze, "Oh, hell yeah, I am!"