day1 love

Chapter 20* how do I manage to get myself into these things?

Sam's POV

I sat there for a long while, unmoving, murder and mayhem on my mind.
Various plots of just how I would exact my revenge, at the forefront.

He had done it now!

Tristan's latest actions against my girl meant he signed his own death warrant.
She got the best parts of me, but just because I toned it down, don't mean I ain't still capable of violence!
Every injury she suffered, in the here and now, and when we wasn't together, made me want to wreak havoc.
First, I would have to have the entire story.
As much as I really didn't wanna go back to that, I needed all facets of how it got to the point of every time he sees her, she winds up grievously hurt.
There's only one person who can give me the kind of in depth information I need, and that's my girl.

How do I even ask her to tell me, when I had told her we never had to talk about it again?
I would never let on that it did, but remembering she was someone else's girl for almost a year, it bothered me.
Again, it was mostly my fault she did what she did and wound up with him, but a small part of me was still pissed she fucked another man to spite me.
She had to have known I would find out, she did it in a way that would ensure I did.

It hurt.

I didn't think she was even capable of hurting me, the girl is almost all heart.
When it came to me, she took me over anything or anyone else.
She had cut off one of her closest friends over me!
Just went to show, I had hit her where it hurt, and without hesitation she hit me back, twice as hard.
A hit don't gotta be physical.

I went outside and smoked a square, came back realized I reek of smoke, sweat, and fear, while using the bathroom.
I hate to be unclean, disheveled, and stinking.
Right now I was all three!

I caught a glance at myself in the mirror in her bathroom.
I look like I felt till she woke up.
Like shit.

I suddenly recall Smythe bringing me necessity items in a duffle bag. It sat untouched in her wardrobe.

When she was still in the coma, I couldn't will myself to handle my hygiene, but she's back, so yeah, I don't need to smell like all outside now!
I took this time to shower, using my washcloth and bar of Zest that were packed and sitting on top of my items in the bag.
I stood under the spray, let the hot water soothe muscles I didn't even realize were tight.
I cut the water off, wrapped a towel around my hips and stood there digging through the duffle.
My brother had outdone himself in packing this for me.
He packed everything he himself would use.
Lotion, deodorant, cologne, shave kit, mouthwash, toothpaste, a brand new toothbrush, floss, Kemi Oyl , my boar bristle brush, a Doo Rag .
He had thought of everything! Ok bro!
Good looking out!
I put my razor to good use, removed the scruff, trimmed my mustache and goatee while I was at it.

There were several days worth of clothing in here as well.

I decided on a fresh pair of  black boxer breifs, a black sleeveless tank
Over those garments I put on an Ed Hardy tee shirt, donned my black distressed jeans, pulled on a pair of socks, laced up my Timbs, gave myself a squirt of Grey Flannel, consulted my reflection again.
I needed a shape up, but this was a marked improvement.
I made a mental note to thank my brother for this, and his loyalty to me throughout these seemingly neverending four days.
It had felt much longer than that to me.

When I finally emerged, she was back from surgery sitting up in bed looking like hell.
Until she smiled at me.
My lil bitch, she loves me with all she has.
It lit her whole face up, I smirked at her.

Balls to the wall, fuck it, I had to know.

I went and sat with her, clicked off the television, looked at her, a serious expression on my face and said, "We need to talk, Kid"

Nikole's POV

He looked so good to me coming out of the bathroom, smelled like his own unique scent, soap, and Grey Flannel, I happen to love that shirt on him.

People said he resembled Pac, but instead of him being brown skinned he was about a shade or two lighter, and way taller than the late, great, slain rapper.
When he went baldheaded or got a real low taper he got double takes all the time.

I smiled, he smirked, came and sat next to me, and cut the TV off.
The way he said we gotta talk Kid, made my heart trip, and the monitor picked it up.

He looked so conflicted, ran his hand over his face and said, " I know I told you we ain't ever have to talk about him, all the shit you went through but I need to know everything.
How you met him, how it got to be you and him, and everything else"

I had told him everything that happened, well that last night we were together but there were things I REALLY didn't want to tell him.
I must have looked apprehensive, because he wrapped his arm around me and said to me, looked me dead in my eyes and said softly, "Tell me everything!'

I started tearing up, and shaking, but gathered up my courage, and began in a voice I almost didn't recognize as my own....

Flashback Scene

When I saw Sam sitting there with that female, all my worst fears and insecurities came right up and smacked me in my face.
Hard.
Inner me grimaced, and said in a know it all voice, see told you so.
You ain't never been good enough to be his only bitch!
All men are the same, and now he proved it!
What did you expect?
He IS Jake's cousin!
I wanted to strangle inner me.

I saw the proof right in front of me, and I saw red.
I gave him my most confused, hurt look, my chin quivering as I was fighting inner me to keep quiet for a minute so I could think.
Inner me is a bitch sometimes.
No, don't you DARE cry, and if you're gonna cry, don't let him see you do it.
Boss up bitch! Turn away and let's go.
She screamed at me, and she was right.
It was time to go.
If I didn't walk right now, I'd either bust into tears, or run up and beat them both up.
End up in a cell myself.

Suddenly, I felt the need for air, and space
As much of both as I could get.
The walls were closing in!

I looked at him, hardened my heart, sent him a scathing, venomous glare, allowed myself one last look nodded my head like, "it is what it is" kissed my fingertips, blew the kiss at him.
I turned on my heel and walked out.
That wasn't a normal kiss, within our crew, that was the kiss of death.
I had just told him, we were done!
I quit.

I didn't look back.

How I managed to get back to his house without wrecking his car or driving it into incoming traffic, I didn't know.
I will not cry.
I parked it right where I normally did, walked into his house, handed the keys to Smythe and without uttering a single word walked out.

I walked the few blocks home still without shedding a single tear, and by the time I got there, I was too angry to cry.
I called up my Hooligan Girls and made plans to meet at the bar and get smashed, so that's where I currently am.
I was still dressed cute because I was after all, coming from seeing Sam.
Sam.
My heart gave a lurch.
Better not think about him.
I took a shot of Bacardi and let it's bite soothe me.
Let's play a game, inner me said. Every time someone says Sam, let's take a shot!
Alrighty, sarcastic smart assed me agreed.
Twelve shots later inner me groaned, Ohhh we gonna get alcohol poisoning.
Let's go get some air!
Okayys shmouns like a pwan! I stood and the room at large was funnnn....it was spinning ...wheee!

I stood outside, fumbling in my bag for a light to the cigarette I already had to my lips.
I heard the snick of a lighter and flame appeared in my line of vision.
I inhaled, letting the nicotine invade my lungs.
I looked up and up and up some more before I finally saw him.
I closed my eyes shut tight, opened them.
No it's not Sam.
Just someone who at first glance kinda resembled him.
"Hey there, pretty girl" he drawled silkenly.
The voice wasn't right either.
It wasn't Sam's but maybe it would soothe me.
This is not a good idea inner me whispered.
Shut. theeee. fuuck... up!
You been calling the shots all night... starting with them shots.
We're single biissshhh, let's mingle!

He was handsome. Dark wavy hair, icy blue eyes, clean shaven, tall and rangy...
Hmmm, things just got interesting...

"My name's Nikki, what's yours?" I responded giggly, flirting.
Nikki...psssh Sam NEVER called me Nikki.
I couldn't be Nik, Nikole, Lil Bit, or Kid for anyone but Sam.
And so Nik retreated somewhere deep inside me,
And Nikki was hatched.

Wait till they get a load of me!