day1 love

Chapter 9* the present and past collided

I looked up and saw he was watching me intensely and I know he saw I had been somewhere else, woolgathering again.

I knew I shouldn't go there, but there were some great memories in the past and looking at him now I felt it happen, the present and the past collided.

He was still every inch the bad boy he had always been, but now he had even more of an edge too.
Like the wounds we inflicted on each other left scars upon our hearts.

I wondered if I would ever stop reminiscing, if we could ever be the people we had been, or if we should just go with the new and improved versions.

I knew there were some heartaches I never wanted to repeat, but there were also some hilarious moments that even when we were apart during the time he was locked up, and my subsequent ghosting him, that I couldn't quite supress my grin remembering.

He said, "I thought you was hungry, let's go and eat before it gets cold,"
Grabbed me by the hand took me into the kitchen and we finally ate.

The food was okay, I could've done better, but since he couldn't leave without authorization and his p.o wasn't answering his phone, it was what it was.

I said, somewhat haltingly, "We can't live on fast food, and it's gonna hurt your pockets too. Ordering out can get pricey!
So how about when you get authorization, we go to the save a lot?"
I glanced up, actually fearful he'd think I was being money hungry.

I said it because, I wanted him to know I wasn't trying to dig in his stash of loot.
He'd always, ever since I knew him, stayed with some type of a hustle or actual job.

He'd grown up dirt poor so he couldn't stand not having bread, bacon,and cheddar to feast with!

In the life I had just left I had become more than adept at preparing meager meals that I would make taste gormet, bargain hunting, getting the most for whatever little I had.

He leveled a look at me that told me he completely understood what I had been thinking.
"Besides I need to contribute if I'm staying with you, so I can cook and do dishes, clean, wash, and mop before I go get Smythe's front office in shape" my voice took on a note of hysteria.

He was out of his chair in a flash coming at me so fast,that I flinched back.
He stopped dead, shock on his face that I had actually flinched.

He came at me slowly this time as one would a skittish animal, folding me up in his embrace, where I pressed my face into his bare chest just under my tattoo.

I looked up to see his jaw had dropped, as he took an arm from around me, he rubbed a hand down his face.

He scowled darkly, "Oh girl, I need to go get that punk again!
What in the hell did he do to you?
Have you been away from me that long that you forgot I'd never put my hands on you?
Pussies hit they girl, real men hit them off!
Hit them wit the dick, loot, everything and anything their hearts desire"
he went in his pocket

"Here baby, take this and go get you some nice shit."
He handed me a thick knot and I hesitated a second too long.

"Ayy Nikole, what I say, here! Take it" he said and handed over his door and car keys.
"Drive the whip, you ain't walkin,"
He added as an afterthought.
He had taught me how to drive though I hadn't for awhile now.
I looked up at him, the fear gone, and I smiled a little.
He said, "please get some gear!
As hot as you look wearing my clothes you need yur own!" he smirked and then laughed, "besides it's only a matter of time before ya klutzy ass trips over nothing and you hurt yourself shawty"
I momentarily froze, and flashed back to my ex.
He used to hurt me, and then when he wanted to make up, he'd say "you hurt yourself, huh shawty"
I detest being called that now, and I would have to find a way to tell Sam to not call me that ever.
But now probably wasn't the moment to say it, not when I was thinking I shouldn't venture out when I wasn't even sure where the ex was!
His stalking me and violent behavior left me always looking over my shoulder.
I knew in an instant, I wouldn't be able to keep it away from Sam.
He KNOWS me.
He knew immediately by my panicky expression, and the way my heart started racing, that something was amiss.
He tilted my face up and studied me intently.
Saw how I was trying to keep it together, and trying valiantly to keep my thoughts to myself.
He said, "Alright, out with it, tell me why ya heart just started galloping like Charismatic, (the Kentucky Derby winner this year), and why you look like you bout to throw up!"
I said quietly, "It's that whenever he would beat on me, and then felt like making up, he would say, "aw, ya hurt yaself shawty?" I mimicked the cold way he would say it, deepened my voice several octaves lower than my own breathy tone, even narrowed my eyes in a parody of how he would say it.
I said, "I know, I know, I'm acting like a lil bitch right now, but I'm terrified! what if he sees me while I'm out and comes for me and I'm alone!
I got no wins against him.
I mean you see what it took for me to escape him! I had to get beaten and almost raped, again..." I stopped talking, and started hyperventilating.