Is It Really Worth It? -Depressed Deku [ON BREAK/HOLD]

Ch.2

Deku's Pov

I woke up with a start. I could feel my fast heartbeat pounding in my hears loudly. "It was just a dream, its not real" I kept trying to convince myself that. Recently, nightmares have been happening more and more. I guess its the price you pay when you want to be a hero.

'Flashback to the dream'

I was back in middle school, the weakling that was nothing more than a punching bag for Kacchan's sickly pleasure. I hated how I still in a way look up to him. After class, when everyone had left I trailed behind, bad idea. Ad soon as I tried to leave. Kacchan grabbed me and pushed me to the wall and repeating how much of a Deku I am while his 'friends' laughed and agreed with him. When he was done insulting me he took and few steps back as his friends started to punch and kick me, as if I wasn't even worth his time or punches. After they were done and I was trying to stand up, Kacchan told me something that I will never forget. "Why don't you do us all a favor and take a swan dive off the roof" he said in his threatening voice. I was shocked. Then the dream shifted to when I was asking All Might if I could ever become a hero even if I was quirkless. Hearing him say no shattered me. The dream shifted a final time and I was standing above a bridge. It seemed to be late at night, as it was hard to see but I could still see and hear the ragging waters down below. Without giving it second thought I jumped.

'End of dream'

I slowly got out of my comfy bed and got ready for school. I always tried to be quick since Iddea, Uraka, and I like to walk to UA together. I always wondered how they stand me. I'mm so annoying and such a burden to be around. I tried to shake theses thoughts away as I continued my routine. I was currently trying to brush my messy hair, to no success, when something shiney caught my eyes. A razor. 'A few couldn't hurt,' I said to myself as I carefully rolled up my sleeves to reveal cuts and scars littering my skin. I don't always cut on my wrists because I find that there is too much of a risk on getting caught. No, I personally liked to cut on my thighs and legs, but I decided to cut my wrists so I didn't have to take my pants off and waste the time I pretended I had.

I stopped staring my at my scared arm and immanently started to press hard and swipe the blade. It hurt, yes but I deserved this, don't I? Of course I do. The thin lines of blood almost stained my school uniform, almost. Soon I couldn't control my self. Voices coming from seemingly no-ware started screaming things that I excepted as true. Some of the voices sounded like my mother, who was away on a business trip. Others sounded like Kacchan and other classmates and friends of mine at UA. But some of the voices I didn't recognize. I honestly don't care anymore, except I do. I hate how my brain works like that.

They just kept screaming and screaming as I kept cutting and cutting. 

USELESS

DEKU

IDIOT

TAKE A SWAN-DIVE OFF THE ROOF

KILL YOURSELF

JUST. END IT.

More and more blood started to drip and it was becoming increasingly harder to keep them away from my uniform. But I did. 

I realized I got a bit carried away when I heard Iddea shouting my name through my front door. I quickly and in a panic wrapped my arms and made myself look at least presentable, did I mention that I was crying throughout all of this? I know, I know, I'm such a crybaby. Anyway, I grabbed my school bag and headed out the door, skipping breakfast, again, and again.

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