Is It Really Worth It? -Depressed Deku [ON BREAK/HOLD]

Ch. 8

.......

Do it.

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Deku's POV

I really shouldn't. I have so much I want to achieve. I'm so clueless in this world but I want to figure it out before I'm gone. 

You'll always be a clueless idiot. What makes you think that you can accomplish anything in your pathetic life. You shouldn't exist. 

You only drag people down with your problems. You hate on yourself so much to the point of thinking each day while looking zoned out how it feels to cut yourself, and craving so badly to do it at night.

Your so selfish. You've making your problems so clear to other even though you try to hide it. You've been worrying your friends, the "Deku Squad?" How much attention do you need? Stop making everything about you!

They shouldn't care about me. They won't care about me. I've been trying so hard to distance myself from them. They are always so happy without me. I feel so guilty. 

Why don't you distance yourself then?

Iida and Uraraka have always tried to reach out to me. But why? I'm so annoying to be around and to deal with. Whenever I try to distance myself, they get concerned and talk to me, making things again about me. I don't want that. Why can't I keep my stupid mouth shut for once and only care about others. Your right, I'm so selfish. 

You really think you belong here? YOUR DEAD WEIGHT! YOUR ONLY BURDEN TO THEM!

Once again my head was swarmed with thoughts. But this time I couldn't ignore them. 

I stumbled to the bathroom not even realizing the time, (which was early in the morning) and grabbing a razor and cutting. I didn't care if my blood stained my cloths and just bring my blade down on my arms and legs without a care of my blood stained floor. My mind competently fogged as I felt so many emotions hit me at once, making me feel somewhat numb. 

I decided to sneak out and go to the bridge, my cuts still bleeding and burning. I made it to my favorite bridge, once again went over the safety line and looked out into the distance as I could just barley see the sun rise. It was then been I started bawling my eyes out. I couldn't do it. Words flashed into my mind as I just kept on crying, slowly leaning forward.

BURDEN

USELESS 

FAKE

DEKU

IDIOT

NEVER WORTHY

YOU. WILL. NEVER. BE ENOUGH

It was then when I decided to let go and I felt myself fall into sweet relief. But then I suddenly felt someone grab my hand.

.............. Oh please, no.......