Desolation

Chapter 02

Amina had decided that today was going to be the day she would confront him about his unfaithfulness. She was well aware that he knew about Amina's doubts but she had never openly said it. This was because of Amina's character she had always been tentative when it came to matters that questioned the morals of others, especially her lover. Another reason was that just like the miscarriage, Henry's infidelity was a topic that was never brought up. Ultimately, this resulted in Henry swimming in a pool of sins and lust while Amina was left to drown in misery.

She had always been told that she was benevolent beyond reason. Her own husband had said this about Amina.
" Amina love, you need to stop being kind to those who are undeserving. You let them walk all over you and I can't stand it." Henry had once told her. As she thought about it she found it ironic that the same man who warned her about undeserving people was the undeserving one. All of her kindness had been taken for weakness. If she had called him out on his bullshit the first time he probably would have stopped. But Amina fought the truth, she knew but she chose to act like she didn't. She suffered in silence while her husband continued to tear her apart.

Amina decided that she was going to take a walk around their neighbourhood. Henry was a very successful lawyer and so they were able to live in a beautiful house in the suburbs.It was a predominantly white neighbourhood. Amina had tried to make friends but most residents didn't like her based on her appearance. They made it seem as if the dark hue of her skin was a threat to their clean and safe suburbia.Once they got married Henry had practically begged Amina to quit her job at the library. It wasn't a well paying job but it was honest and Amina loved it. She was willing to give up her job to make her husband happy.Henry had isnsisted that he took care of her, he didn't want her to work when he was fully able to provide for both of them, some may say that this is a traditional way of thinking but it worked for them.She agreed but it was not because Amina was a submissive wife. It had to do more with the fact that she was deeply in love with her husband and no sacrifice was too big for the man who had her heart, mind and soul.

As she was walking down the street she saw Martha on her front porch watching her two children ride on the bicycle. The sight of children made her heart pang. She instantly started to feel guilty because she couldn't deliver a baby. She felt as if she had failed at being a woman and a wife. Even with the new found air of melancholy surrounding her she greeted Martha with a wave. Martha just gave a tight smile to Amina. The bare minimum to acknowledge her presence while simultaneously informing her that her presence was unwanted. Amina would have usually been saddened by this indirect racism towards her but her whole being was consumed by thoughts of her failing marriage and why it was probably her fault.

She had been walking for ten minutes when she saw the clouds thickening. She decided it would be a smart idea to head back before she would face the wrath of mother nature. Today the weather forecast called for heavy storms.

Once she reached home she noticed the black mercedes-benz driven by her husband. She knew that the only reason why he came home was because of the storm. It would never be because he longed to see his beloved wife who put up with more of his bullshit than she would like to admit.

When she walked in she was greeted by the scent of something sweet in the kitchen. She walked into find Henry taking out a pan of golden crisped vanilla cupcakes. Henry used to bake all the time and he was far better than Amina. She was hit with an instant wave of nostalgia.

Henry turned around to acknowledge her presence " I hope you're hungry" he said to her. Even though Amina knew she should have declined his offer to let him know that she had not let him off the hook. She would be lying if she didn't say her sweet tooth was aching to bite into those cupcakes. She didn't want to speak for fear of saying something stupid or her voice betraying her and cracking. In contrast to her calm face and body language she was having an internal battle, at that point she had a storm of emotions hitting her all at once. She vigorously nodded her head instead which resulted in a crooked smile being plastered on Henry's lips.