Desolation

Chapter 12

Amina was now sat in the train with her head leaning against the window. She was in utter shock of the events that took place. Everything felt like a nightmare, her utopian world transformed into a dystopian mess right before her eyes.

At that moment she wanted to run out of the moving train and fall right back into the arms of Henry, but she simply knew that this was not even an option. "What's done is done" she said to herself in a hushed tone.

It was so hard to believe that any of this was happening to her. Amina and Henry were no more. What made her hurt even more was how invested she was in their relationship. It was built at a gradual pace and she was almost certain that their foundation was strong enough to last but it tarnished once it was overcome with adversity.

Even though she was a strong believer in fate and that everything happens for a reason she was now oscillating between letting it happen or going back to fight but the truth that she knew was that there was nothing left to fight for.

Perhaps if they had dealt with the issue appropriately at first including the miscarriage they wouldn't be where they were at that moment.

It seemed like the stress and countless nights caught up to Amina, she eventually fell asleep for the rest of the ride. It wasn't the most comfortable place to sleep on but nonetheless it was rejuvenating.

She woke up to see that the train had arrived in Bakersfield. She got up from her seat that had now slightly sunken down and stretched her arms while silently yawning.

The thought of going back to Janis excited her and she couldn't lie. They were quite different from each other but they created such a beautiful dynamic. They both found solace in each other as they shared similar stories and were able to relate on a deeper level.

Janis made Amina feel younger and carefree whilst Amina taught Janis to be more benevolent and her optimism was slowly rubbing onto Janis even though she wouldn't admit it. Their friendship had a blossoming future based on its preceptor-learner that allowed the two to grow.

Amina got out of the train with her luggage. To her luck she found an unoccupied taxi and so she got in. After giving the driver the address she fell back on the chair and took in a deep breath from her nostrils.

She sat in the taxi thinking just how arbitrary fate is. Everything was volatile in life, there would always have to be chaos and that was just the way life was.

The prospect for her future was enticing to her. Her emotions were a mix of excitement, distress, regret but most of all uncertainty. She knew that she needed to find a job of some sort on top of that she didn't really know for how long she would stay with Janis.

Her worrisome was brought to a halt by the thick accent of the driver. "Ma'am your stop."

She looked to the driver and gave him a polite smile. She fished out a $20 bill and hurriedly got out of the taxi with her luggage. "Thank you." she told him.

Amina dragged her luggage with her into the brick building where she took refuge in. She got on the elevator and pressed the button sending her to the ninth floor.

The short ride consisted of Amina looking at her reflection and feeling discouraged. She looked like a zombie that was running on coffee but she immediately felt worse when she remembered seeing Henry. He looked awful, the guilt started building up in her again. She didn't like that he was all alone when he was clearly suffering.