20 Again

Part 1

Happily ever after.
Most fairy tales end with that one simple sentence.
But no one has ever written about what happens after the prince & princess get married. About what happens after the magical wedding kiss.
Will they still live happily as husband & wife?
Will they love each other forever?
Will their life be free of conflict & fights because they just simply love each other so much?
My life was once a fairy tale. I married the love of my life after our pure love conquered all obstacles.
However, life began to throw pebbles at us. Then, boulders. And without us even knowing, our supposedly undefeated love had been trampled into non-existence by the harsh reality.
So much for a fairy tale ending.

I sigh deeply as I observe our wedding picture. We look so happy, our eyes are so full of love for each other. The euphoric expression on our faces shows our high hopes for the future.
Catching a glimpse of my own reflection at the corner of my eyes, I look up at the mirror. I stare at my bloodshot eyes, heavy eye bags, & disheveled hair with disgust. I try to smile but it only deepens my repulsion. Wrinkles have begun to form on my smile lines & around my eyes. Gone are the sparkles in my eyes & the youthful glow on my face.
I look like a sad ajumma.
The sound of baby wailing wakes me up from my daze.
"Ne (Yes) Jisung ah, eomma is here!" I instantly put down the picture frame & rush to the baby's room.

A few hours later
The sun is shining so brightly today.
My face is drenched with sweat as I carry the crying baby in one hand & grocery bags in my other hand.
"Jisung ah, eomma will make your favorite porridge when we get home ok?" I coo to the baby, his cheeks flushed possibly from the heat.
Right then, I hear people whispering beside me. I turn sideways & see a bunch of female college students glancing my way. Their gaze isn't pleasant.
Suddenly feeling self conscious, I look down at my attire of worn-out long floral skirt & plain old white T-shirt with a medium-sized brown spot visible on the chest area. I wipe the stain with my thumb but it won't come off, so I awkwardly hold the baby higher to cover up the spot.
The students giggle as they walk pass me & I catch a phrase that gets stuck in my head for the next few hours.
Pitiful.
I try to shrug it off, but inevitable regret creeps out from the deepest part of my heart.
I would be one of them too if I didn't choose this path.
"Mm-ma. Mm-ma." Jisung's call diverts my attention.
"Oh sorry, eomma is spacing out. Let's go home Jisung ah." I force a smile to comfort him, although I'm pretty sure that he doesn't even know that I'm upset.
The sun shines so brightly, but it can't chase away the gloom that seems to be following me all the time.

Night
The baby has been crying for a few hours now. His fever won't come down despite the cold patch I've stuck on his forehead.
"Jisung ah, what's wrong? Tell eomma oh? Why are you like this?" I ask in panic as I hold him in my arms, but that only irritates him even more.
"Baby, stop crying. Please. What do you want? Are you hungry? I'll heat up the porridge for you ok?"
I put Jisung down & rush to the kitchen. I frantically turn on the stove & grab a pan from the cabinet. Accidentally, my elbow bumps into the hot water bottle during the process.
"Ow!" I yelp as the hot water burns the back of my hand, leaving a deep red splotch on my skin.
The pain is unbearable, but Jisung's sudden loud cry makes me hurry back to his crib. His face is flushed & he's sitting in a puddle of his own vomit.
"Omg Jisung ah, why are you like this?" Ignoring the pain on my hand, I immediately hold him in my arms but he still won't stop crying.
Feeling helpless, I finally go to my last resort. I grab my phone & dial up a number.
My husband, Jimin's number.
"Come on pick up." I fidget impatiently waiting for him to take the call.
"What's wrong? I'm busy right now." He says as soon as he picks up.
"Jisung is very sick. I don't know what to do, can you please come home?"
He doesn't say a word for a few seconds, making me think that the call has disconnected.
"Jimin ah?"
"I'm sorry I can't. I'm still accompanying a client now. Go figure it out on your own." He coldly says.
"What? Your son is sick! Isn't he more important than your client?!" I can't believe that he can be so heartless towards his own child.
Then, I hear it. The unmistakable sound of a woman in the background calling his name.
"Where are you?" My heart has gone cold instantly.
"Y-You don't need to know. I need to go now."
"Park Jimin if you dare to end the call-" I don't even get to finish my sentence because he's turned off his phone.
My lips whimper & my body feels numb. Tears roll down my cheeks but I wipe it off quickly.
"It's ok Jisung ah. Abba is busy, let's go to the hospital with eomma ok?" I try to stay calm for the sake of my baby. However, I can feel that my heart is slowly dying inside. The last petal of hope for my future with Jimin has fallen to the ground. Dead & irreversible.