20 Again

Part 9

Present, Y/n POV
"Y/n. Y/n ah? What are you thinking about? Did you hear what I said?" Nami's nudge on my shoulder snaps me out of my daze.
"Oh? Sorry, my mind was somewhere else." I smile faintly at her.
Jimin's words have been haunting me these past few days.
"I'm not a dog.."
Come to think of it, maybe I misunderstood a lot of his intentions. Maybe he isn't as bad as I thought he was. Maybe he was suffering as much as I was.
"Y/n. Y/n ah. What's going on with you? You're spacing out a lot today." Nami asks as she shakes my arm.
"Nami ya, if someone made a mistake & you hated him so much for it, but then you found out that maybe he had his own unexplainable reason for doing that, what would you do?" I turn to her & ask.
"Well, I'd talk to the person & try to understand his situation. You know, there are always two sides of a story. Sometimes, our point of view might be distorted so we need to hear out the other person's reasoning too. Why? Who exactly are you talking about?" She knits her brows in confusion.
She's right. I need to talk to Jimin.
"Btw, Tae invited us to come to their company tonight after they're done with practicing. Do you- Do you want to come with me?" She hesitantly asks.
This is probably my chance to talk to Jimin. And maybe.. I should give Tae a chance too.
"Ok. I'll go with you."
"Really? Woah, I didn't expect it to be so easy." She exclaims in surprise.
"But promise me one thing Nami ya, you must not let Tae hurt you. One mistake & he's out, do you hear me? Like you said, there are always two sides of a story, but if he keeps repeating the same mistakes & hurting you, then it's time for you to leave. For your own good. And I'll always be skeptical of your relationship, I'll be the pessimist to your optimist in this case. Will that be ok with you?" I stare right into her eyes & hold her shoulders firmly to make sure that she knows that I'm being serious.
"Y-Ya, he hasn't even asked me to be his girl friend yet. But you really sound like you've been through a bitter relationship. Have you gotten a boy friend & broken up without telling me?" She searches my face in confusion.
"H-How is that possible? If I have a boy friend, you'll be the first to know." I quickly avert my gaze.
"What do you think about Namjoon ssi?" She hooks my arm & raises her brows suggestively.
"Kim Namjoon? He's a nice guy." I answer concisely, knowing full well where she's going.
"I think he likes you. Will you give him a chance? Won't it be fun if we date them at the same time? We can go on double dates." A dreamy gaze glazes her eyes.
That was exactly what I said when she was hesitating whether to accept Taehyung or not. And I realize how stupid that sounds now.
"No, it won't be fun coz I don't like him. Your connection & trust with your partner are the most important things in a relationship, so just focus on those."
"Aish, you really are not fun now. Just don't bail out on me tonight." Lips pouted, she stomps away.
Seeing her cute reaction, I shake my head & smile.
The sky is so clear & blue today, maybe that's why my mind feels a bit clearer than before. Somehow, I can't wait to meet Jimin tonight.

10:29 PM, BigHit Ent, Jimin POV
"That's it for today guys. Good job."
All of us collapse onto the floor once the choreographer hyung claps his hands.
Today was tough. We've been practicing the new choreography for 3 hours straight.
"Guys, someone's buying us pizzas. They're on their way." Taehyung exclaims.
"Yeay! Pizza!" Jungkook excitedly pumps his fist.
"Who's buying?" Jin asks.
"A friend." Taehyung answers cheekily.
Actually, I just want to go back to the dorm & sleep, but I don't want to be the party pooper & decide to stay.
My eyes grow heavier as I lie on the floor, feeling the cool breeze of the air con blowing on my face.
"Hey, the pizzas are here!" Taehyung rises from his seat & rushes to the door.
"Hi guys." The sound of door opening is followed by a familiar female voice.
I instantly open my eyes & sit up. My sleepiness is completely gone when I find Nami & Y/n standing at the door with two huge pizza boxes in their hands.
"Come in, please." Namjoon approaches them & take the box from Y/n's hand. His grin is so wide that it almost splits his face in half.
"Thanks for coming Y/n ssi. Actually, Namjoon hyung was the one who asked me to invite you." Taehyung says as he nudges Namjoon's arm.
"Ya, Taehyung ah.." Namjoon shyly pushes Taehyung's shoulder in protest.
Something hits me right in the chest. I don't know what that is, I just know that it's unpleasant.
Y/n's eyes meet mine, but I quickly lie back down on the floor.
Why is she here again? I thought she wanted to avoid us at all cost. Is it because of Namjoon hyung? Does she like him now? Ugh, it's none of my business. She's not my wife anymore.
"Jimin ah, do you want some?" Taehyung calls out to me.
"No thanks, I'm not-"
Suddenly a shadow hovers over my head.
"I bought your favorite ham & pineapple pizza. Eat some." Y/n places the plate beside my head & walks back to her seat beside Nami.
Startled by her move, I abruptly sit back up and look back & forth between her & the pizza.
Why is she doing this now?
I grab the plate from the floor & feel that there's something stuck under it. It's a piece of post it with Y/n's handwriting.
"Meet me in the store room in 5 minutes."
My eyes shoot up & stare at her in surprise, but she appears nonchalant, smiling at something Namjoon is saying to her.
The store room. The place where we used to meet secretly back then before we told the others about our relationship.
Out of the corner of my eyes, I see Y/n rising from her seat & excusing herself. She puts a strand of hair behind her ear & then rubs her earlobe twice.
Gosh, she even uses the same cue as back then. What is she doing? Should I go or not?
I contemplate for another minute before finally deciding to go & see what she wants from me.
"Jimin hyung, where are you going?" Jungkook asks through a mouthful of pizza.
"Restroom. I've got stomachache all of a sudden." I say as I exit the practice room.
Once I'm out, I rush along the corridor to the store room at the end. I push open the door & my heart skips a beat at the sight. She is looking at me with her big round eyes while leaning on the shelves, just like old times.
Her face disappears in the dark as I slowly close the door behind me. I try to switch on the light but it doesn't work.
"I guess they still haven't fixed the light in here." I say to diffuse the awkwardness.
"They won't ever fix it, coz no one else came here other than us. Remember?" Her figure slowly materializes again as my eyes begin to adapt to the lack of light.
"Oh yeah, right. It's been a long time. I can't remember it clearly."
It was a complete bullshit. Actually, I remember everything that happens in this room like it was yesterday. Every touch, every kiss, they all come rushing back to me now. I silently thank the darkness, otherwise she would have seen my flushed face already.
"How's your leg?" I ask.
"It's healed now. You must be wondering why I ask you to come here."
Sensing her stepping closer to me, my heart begins to race rapidly.
Ya, why are you so nervous? It's just Y/n. Your old annoying ex-wife.
"W-What do you want? I thought you didn't want to see me again." I scold myself inwardly for stuttering.
"I want to thank you." She stops right in front of me & I can see her eyes staring right into mine.
"Thank me? For what?" I try to control my heartbeat so that she won't hear the loud thumping sound inside my chest.
"For the porridge. It was delicious, I ate it well. I was going to text you but I couldn't recall your old number." She explains.
"That's it? You're calling me all the way here just to thank me for the porridge?" I scoff in disbelief.
"Also, I'm sorry." She mutters in a much smaller voice.
"Sorry?" I repeat after her, thinking that I got her wrong.
"The thing you said that night at the club has been stuck in my head. It got me thinking that maybe I had misunderstood you. I blamed you for a lot of things that were out of your control. When eomma said that your eyes were full of sadness, I realized that the twinkle in your eyes had slowly dimmed throughout the years of our marriage, replaced by a curtain of persistent melancholy. You must have been suffering as much as I did, yet you never told me anything. And that had only deepened my misunderstanding towards you."
Tears sting my eyes as I listen to her & recall those difficult days I experienced at work, the guilt I felt when I couldn't provide my wife & kid with a better life, the constant self-blaming for being useless, the regrets & what-ifs that haunted my sleep.
"I didn't say anything because I don't want to burden you. I knew you were having a tough time so I just swallowed everything & kept my suffering to myself."
"But I didn't want that. I wanted you to talk to me, cry with me, instead of pretending that everything was fine when in fact our world was crumbling down." The tremble in her voice breaks me. I can't contain the tears anymore & let them flow freely down my face.
"I knew you resented me after what happened to Nami. The way you looked at me had changed. And then, eommoni passed away. You hated me even more, but honest to God I wasn't late on purpose. I thought if we had a baby, you'd forget about the past & love me again. But turned out, I was wrong. You looked even more stressed out after Jisung was born.
I felt so sorry towards your parents, especially eommoni. I promised her that I would take good care of you, but what did I do? I kept failing as an employee, as a husband, as a father. I was so ashamed with myself you had no idea. So I thought it was best to let you go, maybe then you'd be happier." I say in between sobs.
"Jimin ah.." She caresses my cheek & wipes away my tears with her thumb.
I look deep into her eyes for the first time in what felt like forever & something inside me is reignited.
I want to hug her so bad that I had to clench my fists to stop myself.
Suddenly, I hear footsteps approaching.
"Someone's coming. We need to hide." I pull her deeper into the room & sneak behind one of the shelves.
The door clicks open & low murmurs break the silence.
"Tae, what are we doing here?" Nami whispers.
"We can get some privacy here. No one ever comes into this room." Taehyung giggles.
"B-But it's really dark & scary." Nami hesitates.
"It's ok. You've got me, right?"
"Y-Yes, but what exactly do you want to talk about?"
"Uhm.. I've been thinking about this for a while. I really really like you, so would you like to be my girl friend?"
I freeze listening to his question & glance at Y/n. She looks equally surprised.
I need to stop him.
"Tae-" I motion to come out of my hiding place, but Y/n stops me & muffles my mouth.
What are you doing? Don't you want to stop them? Don't you want to prevent what's going to happen to Nami in the future?
I try to convey to her through my eyes, but she only shakes her head.
"I like you too, but you're an idol. What if people find out? It will ruin your career." Nami says.
"So what if people find out? I don't care as long as I have you." Taehyung replies.
I'm stunned. Those words are basically what I said to Y/n back then when I asked her to be my girl friend.
How naive. But it was true at the time. I wasn't afraid because I got her.
"Give me some time to think about it. Is that ok?" Nami asks.
"Alright, I'll wait for you." Taehyung agrees.
"Now let's go before the others get suspicious."
The room goes quiet again as both of them walk out of the store room.
"Huh.. Finally." Y/n heaves a deep sigh.
Now that they're gone, I realize that my body is pressed tightly against hers. Her fresh scent fills my nostrils & her breath tickles my neck.
Seemingly realizing the same thing, she looks up at me & quickly pushes me away.
"S-Sorry." She stutters, cheeks blushing.
It somehow makes me happy that I still have that effect on her.
"I thought you didn't want them to get together this time." I change the topic to divert her attention.
"I didn't. But then I realized maybe we were given second chance not to completely change the past, but to learn from our mistakes & do better."
Her ambiguous words puzzle me.
Is she implying about us as well?
"Anw, we better go now. Oh, can you give me your number?" She hands me her phone.
"You want my number?"
"Just in case something happens. You know.. It's ok if you don't want to-"
I snatch the phone from her hand before she finishes her sentence, & tap in my number.
"There you go." I say as I give the phone back to her. It feels like we are back to the time when we started dating.
"Now let's go." I pull the door handle but then she tugs at my shirt.
"Wha-" The rest of the word gets stuck in my throat as she hugs me from behind.
"I'm sorry for making you feel less than human. I'm sorry for taking everything out on you. I'm sorry I couldn't understand you. You deserved so much better Chim."
She abruptly lets go & walks out of the store room ahead of me, leaving me speechless & baffled.
The brief warmth she showed me reminds me of our good old days, when we had nothing but love for each other. And I come to realize, that despite all the fights & the nasty words we threw at each other, she has never left my heart.