WinterIron one shots

Simpler than a kidnapping

Word count:1370

Summery: some times Bucky just wants to spent a bit of time with his boyfriend- but a wanna be villains always has to get in their way.

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You'd think being kidnapped would be a little more exciting.

But it had become pretty repetitive at this point, and Tony was actually beginning to consider the possibility that there was some sort of 'kidnapping for assholes' handbook, because these encounters were all exactly the same.

The man in front of him was droning on about how Tony would make a perfect bait for his 'pretty soldier', but the genius had admittedly zoned out a little bit. Wasn't it lasagna night tonight? Clint was mostly a wreck in the kitchen (albeit nothing compared to Tony), he made a fucking fine lasagna. Suddenly, there was a sharp crack and he made the connection when he felt pain flare across the left side of his face.

"Are you even listening?" The wannabe villain roared in anger, even though his voice wavered in evident shock.

"Do you want me to lie or can you handle the truth?" Tony asked, disinterested. That earned him a hard punch to the gut, making him scowl. Fuck, that one actually hurt. "Jesus, okay, I'm listening, Mom." He muttered, smirking to himself when his kidnapper gave him up as a lost cause and gestured for his two brick-head goons to take the billionaire back to his lovely cell - kitted out in all the loveliest features like a suspicious smelling mattress and a filthy bucket.

Delightful.

Feigning weakness from the punch, he staggered along between them, allowing himself to be pushed behind the bars. Looking far too pleased for someone with a face that atrocious, Goon 1 hooked the key into his belt next to his knife. Rookie mistake, asshole.

Lunging forwards like a panther, he reached through the gaps in the bars and curled his nimble fingers into the idiot's collar, pulling him forwards with all his weight so that his most-likely empty head smashed into the metal with a pleasant ringing sound. It really was hollow, then. He snatched the key and the knife, letting him slump to the dirty concrete floor. The next goon had taken off running, probably to alert the other soldiers of the little mishap.

Unfortunately for the criminal, his huge size meant that he ran like a mentally challenged bear, and Tony easily caught up to him, sinking the knife into the guy's leg to incapacitate him, but not fatally. He'd get what he deserved, the genius would make sure of it later. Back against the wall to minimise chances of being seen on cameras, he made his way down the dank corridors and - hey, that sure was an interesting blood stain on the ground. These bases always had such interesting landmarks, didn't they? He happened to a door, and shouldered it open, a shark-like smirk gracing his features when he observed the random crap in the room.

If it was one thing he could do, it was use random crap.

*

"People should really stop kidnapping my boyfriend," Bucky grumbled, checking his gun as the quinjet started lowering itself down in a field about half a mile away from where they'd tracked their teammate. "'Specially since every time he goes missing I have to postpone proposin' to him." He added, cheerfully, trying not to laugh at the stunned faces of the other Avengers. They touch down more clumsily than usual, but Bucky steps off the aircraft happily enough, ready to shoot some evil bastards and claim a kiss from his fella.

He hears a faint, "I'm happy for you, pal," choked out by Steve behind him. Good, he should be.

Guns blazing, he practically kicked down the door, taking out every man he sees with little fuss, the comfortable sounds of his friends beating the shit out of their enemies a decent background noise.

"Does anyone know where Tony-" An explosion cut Steve off, who simply shook his head with a fond smile, "Nevermind."

"You guys clean up and make sure we have a safe exit - I'll meet him in the middle," Barnes said firmly, slipping into a nearby corridor. He switched fluidly into assassin mode, since usually when Tony started blowing shit up, the building didn't stand a chance for very long, and getting into more scrapes would only waste precious time. If he did run into anyone, he choked them out with a metal hand around their throat until they went limp under his grip and tossed them aside.

He simply followed the sounds of destruction, and soon happened across the quite wonderful sight of his boyfriend casually throwing someone over his shoulder and stomping on their balls. His eyes flickered up to meet Bucky's and the genius shrugged as he gave the attacker a kick in the balls for good measure. "So, you come here often?" He drawled.

"Ugh, that was awful. I changed my mind, I'm leaving you here." He snickered, pretending to turn on his heel.

"Fine by me, I'll make sure I leave the door open when I beat you home," Tony smirked, running up behind him to tackle Bucky in a hug and plant a well-deserved kiss on his lips. Feeling a sense of triumph in his chest (it was a pretty good feeling to have played assistant in his future husband's daring escape, the soldier thought), he tugged Tony along through halls that he'd memorised minutes before.

True to their plan, the exit was free, and Tony only briefly paused to flick a switch in his hand, scoffing at Bucky. "You didn't think those pathetic little things were bombs, did you?" He asked slyly, as the ground shook underneath them.

"You beautiful little psychopath." Barnes snickered, rolling his eyes at how his partner managed to give everything a plot twist just for fun.

"Back at you, Ice Cube." The billionaire finger gunned him, (fucking finger gunned him) and started running over to where the quinjet's engines were starting up, swinging himself through the door and spreading his arms. "Did you miss me? I feel like I'm really starting to grow on you guys." He cooed, pretending to bat his eyelashes and swoon at the idea of the Avengers coming to rescue him.

"Yeah, like a tumour." Clint snorted, grinning like a dork at him, anyway. "Why do we even show up, again? Stark's always got this shit covered." Hawkeye snickered.

"For the view, of course." Bucky murmured behind Tony, who flushed.

"No! No kinky, weirdo crap on the Quinjet! Steve? Steve!" Clint shrieked, throwing the nearest object at them, which happened to be a bottle of painkillers that sprayed everywhere.

Bucky and Tony purposefully made bedroom eyes at each other the whole flight back, just to piss him off further, and burst out laughing when Steve made the archer stay behind to clean up the pills that he'd spilt.

Enjoying a warm shower and a change of clothes was next on the list of things to do, after scarring Clint, and when Tony emerged to track Bucky down, he found possibly the most hilarious sight he'd ever seen waiting for him.

"Is that a blender?" He raised an eyebrow at the image of Bucky covered completely in some sort of chocolate substance, not to mention the state of the kitchen. The assassin in question groaned in embarrassment at having being caught, hanging his head. "I was making milkshakes." He mumbled petulantly.

"Oh clearly, an interesting technique you've got going here. I love the way you-"

"Oh, shuddup." Bucky cut off his boyfriend's ribbing and glared lightly. "I may have kind of forgotten to put the lid on." He admitted after a moment.

Tony fucking lost it.

And if Bucky watched, trying to hide his smile and deciding that it was probably worth being covered in chocolate milk just to make the love of his life laugh like that, well, no one had to know. His metal fingers played with the ring box in his pocket, where Tony couldn't see. For the biggest decision in a guy's life, choosing to put a ring on Tony Stark was even simpler than a kidnapping.