WinterIron one shots

MY sunshine

Word count:2275

Summery: after the metal arm was attached to his body- Bucky has been cold. So when he refuses to tell anyone - especially his boyfriend tony and best friend Steve-  he ends up getting hypothermia.

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He hated winter. He hated the cold. It was probably ironic for some people that the Winter Soldier hated the cold but it wasn't like he had chosen the name. Most people would probably guess that his dislike for low temperatures came from his years spend in cryogenic suspension and that was part of it but mostly it was the metal arm that caused the problems.

The arm was painful enough at the best of times and that wasn't even counting the dysphoria from having a foreign object stuck to his body without consent or any possibility to remove it that was a constant companion for Bucky. It was the cold that made the thing unbearable. Bucky didn't know if HYDRA had simply overlooked it or if it had been a distinct choice to design it this way to add to his torture but the metal was extremely conductive for any kind of temperature. So every time he ventured outside no matter how many jackets and sweaters he put on the arm turned into a piece of ice immediately and with it the metal parts inside his body as well. He didn't need an x-ray to tell exactly where the arm was anchored to his body. The clavicle, shoulder blade, ribs, there were small pieces on his spine and even something on his hip, and having to feel how far the arm reached into his body constantly made him want to rip it out, dig his fingers into his skin and tear it off his bones.. If there were even his bones and not metal replacements.

Add to that the burning cold that froze him from the inside out and Bucky was paralyzed with horror and disgust for his own body. The only thing he could do then to not succumb to self-destructive measures was to curl up under a heated blanket as much as possible, use a hot water bottle on his shoulder and hope the heat will eventually bring the metal to a bearable temperature. Hot showers and baths helped too but he had to be extra careful with the water in winter and dry the arm completely every time. He seldom left the tower during the winter months to prevent the cold in his body to ever get too bad, but he couldn't stay holed up the entire time, the team worried and especially Tony who wanted to spend time with him on dates and Steve who wanted to see him interact with people more were always on his case when he tried to stay in bed all day. It wasn't like he didn't want to spend time with his boyfriend but he would rather stay cuddled up on the couch watching a movie instead of going out. They did that often enough but Tony deserved the occasional date in a nice fancy restaurant, Tony deserved so much more, he was the one who took him in, made him feel at home, showed him what love was. He was the one who called him Sunshine when everybody else only saw a gloomy man with a rain cloud over his head.

So he put up a happy face and ignored the stinging pain in his body and the screaming in his head to get rid of the abomination attached to it.

Today was no different except Clint had suggested a team outing as it had recently snowed and he wanted to go to the park and take advantage of it. It naturally had ended with a snowball fight and with the white powder stuffed down Bucky's collar. It had taken everything he got not to break down in the park and somehow make it back to the tower. He had no idea how he had managed the cold while still with HYDRA, maybe it had been easier to deal with when he didn't know any better, when he didn't have a warm bed to curl up in and instead had only an even colder cryochamber to look forward to. It didn't take long until everybody was soaked through with melted snow and shivering and they finally headed back to the tower.

It was entirely too late for Bucky.

When they got back he felt like his entire left side was made out of solid ice and he was pretty sure the snow turned water in his collar formed an ice layer on his neck. He ignored the Tony's call for a hot chocolate to warm up and headed straight for their bedroom. A hot chocolate wasn't going to warm him up, if anything it would probably form chocolate ice in his stomach. He also couldn't get a hot water bottle with everybody gathered in the kitchen, he blanket had to do for now.