WinterIron one shots

December 16th

Word count: 968

Summery:  December 16th. A date tony will never forget but never stop wanting too

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December 16th.
——

Tony hates the date, hate what it means.

The avengers used to notice his resentment towards the holiday season, when they would all - including the terrifying assassin- be happy and in the 'Christmas spirit'. There was shopping trips and more game night and generally the moral would be sky high.

But the genius rarely ventured out of the comfort of his lab. He only left when the guilt and grief got so bad - that the soppy Christmas songs would be a welcomed distraction. And the team didn't seem to notice.

But when the day came, he would sneak out of the tower at an ungodly hour of the morning while the rest of the avengers were asleep, and spent some time alone.

He pulled the gloves over his hands, and wrapped a dark scarf around his neck, trying to cover as much of his face as possible before venturing out into the snowy landscape outside. With a hat placed firmly on his head, he stepped out into the cold, and wrapped his arms around himself.

—

He didn't care in the grass was covered in fronts and slept melted beneath him, soaking his trousers.

He tucked his legs up into his stomach and rested his head on his knees as his tears fell freely. It was the only time he allowed himself to cry. And still it felt wrong - 'Stark men are made of iron'.

'Here rests Howard and Maria Stark, who passed away on

December 16th 1991'

Tony always hated this date. He hated the extra attention it brought to him, the fake sympathy that people laid upon him, only so they could brook a favour with him in future. The reason He always slipped out of the compound at a godawful hour of the morning, when the rest of the Avengers were asleep and headed back to Stark Mansion to quietly lay flowers at their graves. He knew there'd be a big event the next day, commemorating the life and times of the great Howard Stark and his wife.

Tony hated that, he hated that Maria, his mother, was nothing but a footnote to Howard and his death. He always tended to her grave more than Howard's.

"I'm sorry mom, I'm sorry the last words we ever shared were in an argument" his voice was barely above a whisper "I'm sorry".

—

And Christmas was never the same - but the next one , was up there on his list of worst ever Christmas'.

——
December 16th

——

The avengers left.

He found out the truth about his parents deaths - they were murdered. And it was Steves childhood friend who done it - the man he fought to protect against their grieving son. The man who had lost so much in his life, lost the best friendship he had since rhodey.

Pepper left him.

Bruce was gone.

He was alone to mend his heart - figuratively and literally.

And Steves childhood friend sent free.

James 'Bucky' Barns.

He let his head fall back Against the fading grave stone and let the silent tears fall. There were a lot - he had been saving it up this year.

——

December 16th

——

The next wasn't so bad.

He sat facing his mother's grave, just staring at it. It always surprised him how much comfort he got from just being near to the place she was buried.

It had been another hard year. He fought for the 'rougue avengers '   As the media called them- to return home. To his home. He wasn't really happy with it, but he knew it was right - no one law would do It.

Tony felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to looked up to see Rhodey's concerned face looking down at him. He noticed the head of red hair behind him where  Pepper stood.

"What are you two doing here?" he wasn't angry, he was just curious

"Tones, do you really think you can sneak past JARVIS on this date without him telling us?" Rhodey's face was etched with worry.

"We didn't want you to be alone Tony" Pepper and Tony had made their break permanent, but they would still both move mountains for each other.

Tony nodded and sniffed once. "Thank you" he whispered

"We're not the only ones that came Tones" Rhodey stands aside to show Bucky Barnes.

Tony stiffened up and looks Bucky over, who was stood there nervously wringing his hands.

"Come on Pep lets go" Rhodey guides Pepper away, but not before Pepper gives Tony a kiss on the cheek

"I'm so sorry Tony" Bucky's voice was hoarse

"It wasn't your fault Bucky" Tony was quick to say "You didn't kill them, the Winter Soldier killed them"

"I didn't know, I didn't remember anything. They... they wiped my memory every time I was unfrozen for a mission"

"I thought you said you remembered all of them?" Tony wasn't angry, he was just speaking plainly

Bucky flinched slightly at that and Tony immediately regretted saying it. "I said that.... I said it because it was what you wanted, no, needed to hear Tony. You were angry, and you were upset at Steve, and it was my fault. I thought..." he trails off slightly "I thought if you killed me it would help you heal" his voice was barely audible.

Tony immediately wanted to hug Bucky, but recoiled at the thought straight after. the man who was the most feared assassin in living memory was in front of him, and he was crying. "I'm sorry for how I acted Bucky, I- it wasn't you that I was mad at, I was more betrayed that Steve had kept the truth from me"

Bucky nods, wiping away a tear.

" I'm sorry."