Tandava And Lasya

Krishna

Midnight, blue and dark
Stars above
I was thinking, if it is true or not
If you two were or not
I went on a journey myself
I thought about how we met
But then, alas, I felt a truth
We are separated, mortal and you

I went to sleep, I wanted to have you
But alas, you were far away
I was in Kaliyug.
Then, next morning, I woke up not seeing you in dream
In a half sleep, in some unknown mystery
I was thinking of you
I thought of you, like I never thought of any other
I was between two roads- to have you or not
I am a mortal, you know
But I went on dreaming, and we were lost
I am your wife
I never felt so happy
Is this your charm your Leela!
I was your wife! Krishna!
I couldn't believe it, I hope it was true
Was it ever,someday, Krishna?

But then, was Radha really with you
Or was she same as Her?
I do not know, Only you do
And perhaps someday I will know too
Should I dream of having you?
Will you come to take me, as you did for Her
Then love me, as you did them all
But again, are they one
And if so, am I the one?

I was bearing your child, Krishna...
(Her here refers to Rukmini...

I had written this months back, I had a dream. Now, I realise finally, that Radha and Rukmini are the same. A Devi who teaches us Bhakti, and a Devi who teaches us Supreme Companionship. Now that i finally know that Sree Radha and Rukmini Devi are both part of Sree Lakshmi, I have no sadness left. But, strange isn't it? For me to realise this, I had to start by dreaming myself as his wife? Sure, that dream made me feel a bit on top of the clouds, which of course is a vice I know, but then, I will shed this too, realising with full devotion that everyone belongs to him! His way of teaching, he made me his part in my dream, so that I could get to know His Prakriti.

I had been afraid of publishing this poem. I thought, it might be a bit weird for people to know that I had dreamt of "bearing"the child of Krishna! Alas, that is the limitation of my devotion. I started thinking what would others think of my devotion, my love. Nonetheless, that restriction will one day leave my heart.

I am going to let the world know this. I felt him! I felt that everyone unites in him. So I now show this poem to everyone.
Those who feel it is not matching with their vibration, may be left, and those who can feel what I had, welcome to my world.)