Tandava And Lasya

A Journey

It was a stormy night
I couldn't embark on this path without stumbling and bleeding
But I woke up from my weakness, got up and started walking.

The rain splashed against my spine, whipping my back
As if I was the prisoner of a farm
I had to plough the harvest that fed the ones of name and fame.

I always loved my scars, I show them with pride
Even if not all, but I have the guts to accept them
But so much scars that I cannot see my self anymore? No, it is horrifying.

I wanted to walk in the unknown, with anticipation and excitement
But now I feel how it is really, to be left alone in a stormy night.
Because, as if to fulfill my wish, You silently gaze, and not speak.

I am strong, I say and I want to believe
But as days go by, I grow wise, and I know
Breaking is a good thing, for rebuilding.

I get lost often, in nasty little arguments and pricking guilt
Pain eating my hopes up, who fight back for eternity, for living
And I come back again, to stand with the might the world knows me to be.

I understand I need to wait, and even after years, I still keep my faith
In You and in him, in unity and peace
We are a union, Love personified.

My feet feel tired, I cannot walk
I dance and try to forget the crippling cries of my heart
But I cannot, I am afraid to dance
Even when I am alone. I have become so weak, God, that I am afraid to show myself to the world.

I try to sing, but I cannot, I have no voice of my own
Every tune has the mark of negligence and hatred.
But I still sing and dance, remembering You, and thus I am freed.

I start accepting myself more, with all my flaws and talents
I see myself in the blue puddle— a beautiful little girl with a smile, eyes brimming with tears
I clap in delight, what a wonderful me I am!
I feel bright and happy, even if I have none to hold with my hand.

Or do I? I can feel You around, the deepest of me is You
I wonder about the dreams and thoughts I had when I was a child
And now, when I am alone...
Who am I? A beautiful Lotus that You, created
I have come to complete this cycle.

Complete this cycle, and there are still so many secrets to know, that I feel it is neverending
A never-ending journey of Love!
But, where, where is my half?
You have one too, don't you?
I feel. I see in dreams and in signs
I know somewhere, there is my other half
My left or my right? I don't know, but he is there
You say me as I dream
And I wait, wait, keep waiting

Until I feel a tap on my head
A hand that I know, a fragrance that I had smelled
I know, even if I never saw
Yet have known with the part of me, Brahm!