The Doctor's Daughter

Chapter 18

Emily's POV

My heart aches. Carl is hugging his supposed father, Rick, and it hurts. It hurts because Carl has love in his eyes when he looks at me over Rick's shoulder, and Carl believes I'm the thing that brought him back to his father. Carl loves me with everything, and it's dangerous. Dangerous because I'm a killer, an uncontrollable, ruthless killer who is forced to kill everyone in their path. And if I don't kill who I'm told, they get hurt, or taken away. So I need to break Carl's heart, before I have to kill him. I have to break up with Carl and leave forever.

He talks to his father, telling him nothing about the doctor, but about me. About how we are dating, how I saved him from terrible things and in return he saved me. About how he loves me more then anything, and how no matter what he will never leave my side. Rick smiles, Carl and him turning to look at me with a gleam in their eyes. I fake a smile back, but inside I'm sobbing over everything Carl just said.

The group all talks and smiles, and everyone files into the church. I swallow, and trap Carl's arm with a loose grip, silently hoping that he will wiggle free so I won't have to do this. He doesn't, to my utter dismay, and instead turns to look at me questioningly. I motion towards the woods, and ask if I could have a word with him. Carl smiles and nods, and tells Rick that we will be back in a second. Taking a deep breath, I walk to the woods with Carl at me heels. Once we are out of hearing distance from the church, I stop walking and turn to Carl.

I begin to talk, tears already in my eyes. "I'm leaving." I say, heartbroken. Carl, not understanding, nods.
"Okay, we can leave. I will tell my father, maybe he can come with us, too." He says. I take another shaky breath, a couple tears already rolling down my cheeks.
"No, Carl. We aren't going. I am. Without you. I'm break - breaking up with you." I choke out. Carl takes a step back, and he looks more hurt than I have ever seen him before. I continue talking, the only thing keeping me going being the fact that this is me saving Carl in a sick way.
"I can't tell you why. Everyone I tell gets hurt. I just.. I'm sorry." I say with pain. Carl looks at me softly.
"Is it the Voice? Do you get it too?" Carl asks, and I almost fall over with shock. I swallow, nodding my head yes, and Carl lets out a breath he was holding. "Well that's a relief, knowing that you have that too. But Emily, it won't tell you to kill me, or me to kill you. It needs us both for something. It has been training us since we were young, both on separate ends, and is using us still. But we have to be exact opposites in this circumstance for whatever this is to work, but I'm not sure we are different."

I wipe away my tears with the heel of my hand. "Have you killed anybody that it told you to kill?" I ask, dreading his answer. He shakes his head no, and the rest of my heart shatters like glass. "There is the difference right there." I say in a soft voice. "You are the light, and I am the dark. My hands are stained with the blood of others, and your hands are clean and sinless. You can fight until the end for what you believe in, and I give up when things go bad." I sigh, starting to cry once more.

"Usually it's the other way around, the girl is the angel that saves the dark boy, but I'm full of misery. Everywhere I go, trouble follows close in pursuit. I bring others into the depths of the darkness I drown in every day, and they suffer unfairly with me. I am filled with dangerous thoughts and scars that you can't heal, Carl, and compared to me you have everything to lose. That's why I'm leaving. Even if you're right about the Voice not trying to kill us yet, I can still save you from the other dangers my future could drag you into. And also, if you're truly right about the Voice training us, then I will see you again. But we won't be dating, or associated even as friends. I'm dangerous to you, and I'm so sorry I let this go on as far as it has." I say, my eyes showing the evil that I tried to hide from the world for so long.

All this time I had thought of things I should never think of, and I had always enjoyed death. I had seen others die, and liked it. When I killed Rory and Heather, a part of me was satisfied, loved the feel of their blood staining me forever more. And that part always scared the rest of me, so I concealed it as best as I could. Now, since I wouldn't have anything to care about because Carl would be safe, I could let go. I could finally let that part take over me, lose control and become what I truly am deep down; evil.