I'll be your light

chapter 52

Cameron pov. 

waking up with a headache is not the way i like to start my days but it seems like thats what i have been doing a lot more lately. 

going to bars

hooking up with someone

waking up with headaches seems like a daily thing for me now and Travis is starting to worry.

walking into the living room i saw him sitting on the couch watching tv. 

"its a boy" he said suddenly. stopping in my tracks i looked at him confused and then it hit me. the baby. its a boy. 

"oh..well tell her...ah never mind." 

"you know she was crying on the way there and back. she misses you" he said turning around to look at me. i nodded and sat in the chair on the other side of the room. he watched me the whole time and i was starting to get a little jittery. 

"i cant do anything about it Travis! i love her but i cant take her down with me! i can end it all right now. i should i could make every ones life alot easier. i wouldn't have to live here and bug you anymore. i wouldn't have to be in the way of Bre-"

"shut up Cameron you better not even try because you know for a fact that i will save you. your my best friend and im not gonna let you do that to yourself. its already hurting me that your hurting yourself" he stood up and his hands where flying everywhere as he spoke. i nodded not fighting back because i knew everything that he was saying was true. 

"i can help but want to die Travis" 

"then i need to send you to a mental hospital if its gonna help you." he spoke softly and sat on the foot rest in front of me. i nodded.

"i think that would be a good idea..." and with that i started packing a bag. 

**

i cant believe i actually agreed to do this. i knew i was gonna get better..well i hope. but this might drive me insane. the white walls and white floor, the nurses dressed in white..it all just made me wanna throw up all over there perfectly white clean floors. maybe i could do that just to piss them off. that would be funny though watching them run around trying to clean it up

haha

i was being shown around after Travis dropped me off and i wasn't paying any attention to what the nurse was saying. 

"and this is your room." i finally heard and i was gladly shown to a room where it was just me. i didnt have a roommate or anything and i couldn't be more happy. 

she left. 

i was alone with my thoughts. 

my thoughts where telling me im doing this for myself. so i could get better.