I'll be your light

↠ twenty-six

what am I supposed to do

when shes so

damn cold

like 20 below

that girl

that girl

shes such a bitch

i tell myself that i can

handle it.

~That Girl *All Time Low*

Cameron pov

a note.

that's all she leaves me is a damn note?

i threw the closest thing near me and it so happened to be my laptop.

what the hell was i thinking. i couldn't help it though. I threw shit around the dorm breaking things and then something caught my eye. i had thrown something at the full length mirror and glass was all over the ground.

the negative thoughts soon began to roll through my mind.

was it me? was i that bad of a boyfriend that she couldnt even stay here?

shes lying, she left because im a horrible person

she doesnt love you that was a lie.

i screamed knowing pretty much the whole school was at the party so i was safe with throwing things around and screaming.

i walked over to the glass and picked up and piece **Triggering part. skip to the stars if you cant read this** and pulled my sleeve up gashing my arm. it didn't even feel like i had any control over my hand as it just made a gash in my arm. and it doesn't even hurt. not one bit. i kept going not gashing anymore but making deep enough cuts to cause pain. doing them nice and slowly makes the pain worse but takes away your mental pain.

**

i stripped out my clothes walking into the bathroom, letting the blood fall from my arm onto the tub floor, going down the drain with a swirl. i smiled and poured soup over the cuts knowing it was gonna sting like a bitch, and it did. i just smiled.

i don't know i guess i missed doing this. damn its been a while since i have actually done it myself.

Well this is what happens when you get a broken heart all over again.

She says she loves me then leaves. Fuck her. i shouldn't have let her in. i knew i was gonna get hurt and she promised she wasn't going to

She fucking promised!

that fucking stuck up bitch. i got out the shower, not even bothered with putting clothes on. i wrapped a bandage around my arm and went over to pull on a pair of gray boxers and went straight to bed, trying to get her out my mind.

**

i woke up to the sound of my phone going off but i just threw it across the room, hearing it hit the floor near the door. i sighed rubbing my face and winced as i hit my arm, memories from last night came back and i cringed, feeling the tears pricking at my eyes. but i refused to let them fall. i got up and got dressed in a black v neck shirt and a pair of black skinnies and also my omam vest that said of mice and men on the back. i put my chain on and let it hang at the side of my hip. i also slipped on a pair of black vans, about to walk out the door but was stopped as it swung open by its self.

"What the hell happened here?" Travis said looking around as his red hair flopped around his head as he scanned the room.

"got a little pissed" i rubbed the back of my neck looking at the ground.

"and that?" he pointed at my arm and i froze, but quickly coming up with something.

"i broke the mirror and my arm got cut" i pointed at the mirror that was shattered and he shook his head.

"you should really get anger control pills" he chuckled and i shrugged. knowing her was right.

"why did you come here anyway?" i asked and he put his hands in his pockets.

"well it is lunch and i was going out. i knew you had a rough night -didnt know this bad- and thought you should get your mind of things for a bit."

i nodded looking around for my phone as i heard it ring and Travis picked it up from the door and handed it to me.

i looked at the caller ID and mentally screamed wishing she wasn't calling me. im not emotionally stable right now so im sure im gonna say some things that im gonna regret but there gonna be true.

"what the fuck do you want" i snapped through the phone not wanting to put up with her anymore.

"Cameron please let me explain"

"no. you dont need to fucking explain anything Bree. You left me a damn note. not even a real good bye. does it look like i care if i die? no i don't so it wouldn't have mattered."

"Cam-"

"Damn it don't call me Cam! how many times do i need to tell you this?!"

"You truly are a fucking ass hole."

"and your a stuck up bitch that promised not to break my heart but you did. i let my walls down for you and you leave. saying bye through a damn note. You broke your promise Bree. Have fun with your wonderful life" i snapped and hung up the phone, Travis telling me to come on and i left. But not before I threw my phone on the ground and stepped on it smashing the screen.