Running with Rogues

CHAPTER 46 - TO THE BRINK

Another chapter! Yippee!! This one's nice and happy for once because I feel like you guys deserve that :)

I woke up to the sun streaming through the open windows. The rays were golden and bright enough that I had to squint as I tried to process that it was morning. Because that couldn't be right. Last time I'd checked, it had been mid-afternoon.

There was an arm draped around my shoulders, pulling me into a solid chest. I knew it was Liam. And I knew I wasn't wearing any clothes. But my brain took a moment to put those two things together, and that gave me plenty of time to panic.

What had I been thinking?

I risked a glance over my shoulder. He'd been asleep — or drowsy at the very least, but he'd felt me stirring and now he was waking up. That wasn't good. It meant I was drowning in those depthless dark eyes. He had this way of looking at me, like an adoring little puppy, and it never failed to pull on my heartstrings.

"I'm gonna be late for work," I blurted, rolling over to face him properly. "And you ... you're probably late already."

Liam just shrugged at me. There was a smile playing about his lips, and that made it so much harder. He looked happier than he had in a long time, although that probably had more to do with the good night's sleep than anything we'd done.

And with that thought, it hit me all over again. I'd been such an idiot. Hell, I hadn't even been drunk. That wouldn't have excused it, of course, but it would have explained it. Liam could blame it on my heat if he wanted. But me? I had no excuses.

I sat up in bed, keeping the duvet tight around me. "Do you know where my clothes are?"

He made a visible effort to look around the room and then turned back to me with a very sheepish look on his face. "Um, honestly ... no. But you can take my shirt if you like."

I'd have to. I was going to be very, very late for my shift. I slipped out of bed, wincing as the cold air nipped at my exposed skin. The windows were still open, and it was like the Artic in that room at night. As soon as I left the cover of the duvet, Liam made a point of closing his eyes. And that was sweet of him, but the sweetness only made me feel worse.

I'd screwed up. This was Liam. Not some random dude I'd never have to see again. And ... I'd never stayed the night with a guy before. I always crept away right after, so I could sleep in my own tent and not have to deal with all this. I didn't know how to let him down gently.

I pulled his shirt over my head, tugging it down to my thighs. It would do. I perched on the bed beside him and squeezed his fingers so he knew it was safe to open his eyes again. We needed to talk.

"Shit, Liam," I whispered, fixing him with a stern look. "This ... it didn't happen, okay?"

The smile turned into a fully-fledged grin. "It did, though."

He wasn't making this any easier. He'd gotten at least ten percent smugger overnight. And it would have helped if he'd put a shirt on, because all that bare skin was quite distracting. Once I'd noticed that, I saw that his hair was still tousled from last night, and I realised I'd quite happily fall into bed with him again. And that was the problem, wasn't it?

"I'm serious," I said firmly. "I'm going to shower, and then we'll chalk this up to adrenaline and never speak of it again."

Liam chewed on his lip. He was doing a good job of hiding the hurt, but I could feel it seeping across our link, nipping at me until I bled guilt. "Okay. That's ... yeah. That's alright."

I wanted to cry. This was my fault, and now both of us were miserable. And yet if I had a chance to do it all over again, I wasn't sure I'd choose any differently. I leant over to press a quick kiss to Liam's cheek, more an apology than anything, and then I hurried into the bathroom before I could change my mind.