The struggle is real

Chapter 28: Secrets revealed

Tris pov:

"So, can I take you out to dinner tonight?" Tobias asks when we are at the penthouse. I smile and say "yes, I would like that. I'm going to go get ready!" I run into my room and put on a cream sweater and black leggings. I do my make-up giving myself a very natural look. I curl my hair into big barrel curls. I put on some comfortable flats and walk out the door. I see Tobias in comfortable clothing just like I am.
"Ready?" He asks holding out his hand. I grab it and reply "ready."

We go to my favorite restaurant which is Olive Garden. We sit down in a small booth towards the back of the restaurant so we go unnoticed.
"Tris, there is a reason I asked you to come to dinner." He says making me swallow hard. "Okay" I say with my voice shaking. "I want to know how you really feel about recording Safe and Sound." I don't say anything for a while. It is just silence between the two of us. 'I can tell him' I say to myself 'just tell him it hurts to do this song'
Instead, I find myself rolling up my sleeves. His eyes widen "Beatrice Prior!
Why are you cutting yourself again? You can't go back to that, you will never get back out! How long have you been doing this?" He scolds.
"Tobias, stop. You sound like my mother." I feel a pang of sadness wash over me as I think about my mother.
"And to answer your question. It was just today. I'm not going to do it again. I just didn't know what to do." I say looking down at my lap.
"Tris," Tobias says grabbing my hands. "If this ever happens again I want you to come to me and tell me. Promise?" "Promise."
The waiter walks up to our table and asks us what we want to drink.
I roll down my sleeves and tell him what I want after Tobias. He walks away to go get our drinks and since Tobias and I know what we want, we just sit in a silence, that is comfortable.
"Tobias, can I ask you about your dad?" I say carefully, observing his response.
He takes a deep breath, "why?" he doesn't say it in a rude or defensive way, he is just generally wondering why. "Well, we never had time to go over the subject. We only talked about it once, and that was when you first told me. Which was a long time ago. I'm not asking you because I pity you. I just, I need to know because you're my boyfriend. And I-" I cut myself off because I don't know what I was going to say. I know exactly what I was going to say.
Tobias gives me a look, but doesn't push me to say anything else.
"Well, it started when I was 6. I spent so many nights watching him hurt my mother, then when I was 6 she passed away in childbirth. My father Marcus blamed it on me, and one night he came home drunk and he hit me and it only took about 3 punches to knock me out. Later I woke up in a closet. Then he started hanging me from the windows. It began beating me with his belt when I was 8. Lastly, to top it all off, he told me to shoot one of his co workers who had information against him. I was so scared when I was about to shoot her when her back was turned, bu- but when she turned around-" he stops and takes a deep breath. "I-it was my mother. Evelyn. Tris, that happened a week before I met you."
My eyes widen and blink back tears.
"A- a week?" I ask. He doesn't say anything just looks me in the eyes.
Before I can say anything, the waiter comes back with our drinks and takes our orders. He walks away and then out of nowhere he says "that is why they call me Four. I only have four fears, heights, small spaces, shooting someone, and my father. I don't say anything, I get up and go to his side of the booth give him a five second kiss on the lips and sit next to him with my head on his shoulder. "Stay with me?" I whisper.
"Always."
--------------TIME SKIP--------------

"Now introducing Tris Prior and our guests, the foxes!" The crowd cheers.

High dive into frozen waves where the past comes back to life

Fight fear for the selfish pain, it was worth it every time

Hold still right before we crash 'cause we both know how this ends

A clock ticks 'til it breaks your glass and I drown in you again

'Cause you are the piece of me I wish I didn't need