Det knocked a few more times but her daughter won't answer, she goes down and get the keys. She's nervous, what if Bea can't handle all of the pain.
"Anak, I've been knocking for a while." and that's when Bea came back to reality
"Ah Ma, Sorry." She let Pepper go down and lie on the floor.
"Are you okay now?" Her mother carefully asked.
"A bit. Still can't believe what's happening." She answered and look at the floor.
"Anak, alam mo, Ever since he died, I haven't got a chance to talk to you, to listen to my princess. Ang daya nga. Your dad said both of you dated and had a talk tapos ako you didn't even visit me or answer my calls"
Bea let out a small chuckle. She's guilty. Tinataguan nga niya ang nanay niya.
"I'm sorry, Ma" her mind is still floating out.
"Do you need anything? I have essential oils in my room, you can get lavender so you can sleep well." Det offered as if it can erase all the pain she's feeling.
Her daughter nodded.
"Oh okay. I'll get you oils" Det didn't close the door just in case Bea won't open it again.
Pepper barks at Beatriz as if telling his mom that they need to go home.
"I'm so sorry, Son! We will stay at Wowa's for a few days. We'll get a house soon. I'm sorry you have to experience that." She carried him again and pet him, she sway the dog like a baby.
After a few minutes, Det saw her daughter putting Pepper to sleep and it pains her to see Beatriz trying to comfort herself and putting attention to her pet thinking that its the only thing that's left for her.
"Anak, i'll leave the oils in your table. Goodnight"
When Det is almost closing the door, Bea called her.
"Ma" It stings like this is the first time she called her again like she needed her.
"Yes?"
"I can't because I'll cry."
"Huh?"
"I can't call you, I can't talk to you, I can't hear your voice because I am sure that the second I do, I'll be crying so hard." Bea's already numb. She's been practicing this explanation for a long time expecting that this will be too painful to say but she's too numb to feel.
"Anak" Det called her, so frozen because of what she just heard.
"I was so hurt, I was so sad, I wanted to die as well. I mean what am I doing here? I was made for loving him but he left me." she's crying now Pepper tries to lick her face so she put him down.
"I'm so sorry. Mommy's here" Det walks towards her and embrace her.
"Ma, seven months and I still can't breathe."
"You should be strong, Beatriz." She taps her back.
"There are times, I wanted to shout and ask God why it has to be him?" Bea continues to let it out.
"He's so nice and kind, Ma." she added.
Det listened to her daughter while hugging her. Hoping that her warmth can put all the pain away.
"I feel like the reason why our house burned down is because I went to the cemetery earlier telling him I see him at all sides of the house." She chuckles while tears are still falling.
"He's like that. He always wanted to be harsh so I could leave him. But Ma, he's my anchor in this life. I don't even know what's exciting everyday. I feel so lost. I miss him so much" she closed her eyes, still crying.
"Shhh, anak. Everything will be okay. Mommy's here."
Det put her to bed just like the old times. She opened the diffuser and put drops of oil for Bea to have a good sleep.
