Agent J // NEX7 Fan ChengCheng

25

○ Building a seven-story pagoda for your pretty hands ○

"What if I wasn't actually a spy? What if it was all just inside my head? What if everything never happened? What if I actually didn't meet him?"  That was what the agent had thought about when she saw the people around her that one day.

It was one of those days when she would doubt herself for choosing the path she chose, assassinations and everything. She didn't feel like it was something she should be doing, either as a woman or as a human.

Now, it all seemed wrong to her. It seemed like the world has finally taken a toll on her and made her feel like the worst human being ever. She felt like she shouldn't have done what she has been doing all these years. She could've simply gotten a normal job in the kingdom or even work in her brothers' company but no, she just had to choose to be an agent who kills people in the name of love.

In the name of love... that sounded too much of a fantasy to be real. Love isn't even a person, it's just a feeling and then there's her, going out and about, telling people that she works for love, a spy sent by love. Now that she thought about it, it sounded too unreal to be... real.

She felt like it was all just her imagination, that everything was just a dream and one day she would wake up and find her brothers looking at her in adoration and confusion, just as she remembered when they first saw her. Maybe if she hurt herself enough, she would wake up to the cruel reality all the while dreaming of these moments yet again.

She had came in the room looking dull that evening, the guard immediately pointing it out and realizing that there was something bothering her, something filling her mind. He didn't like the thought of the fact that she might just be degrading or even thinking things negatively of herself so he took initiative to pull her on his lap and hugged her.

It was after a few minutes that he started hearing sniffles from the other. He was quite shocked to say the least, he hadn't ever seen her cry before. But he knew better than to plainly asked her if she was okay when she clearly isn't so he started rubbing her back in soothing circles, trying to ease the pain or whatever she's feeling at the moment.

"Mind telling me what's been bugging your mind? You did seem a bit down back at the palace" he softly said. He heard some more sniffles before he heard a reply. "Just doubts" she said, voice barely above a whisper. It was one of those times when she didn't mind showing her weaker side, the side almost no one has ever seen.

That side was the broken side of herself. Everyone has always viewed her as someone strong, someone highly intelligent, someone incredibly beautiful, someone with no emotions, someone cold as ice, the perfect prototype of a spy.

But behind all that was a very broken side, one which has been hurt too many times to be healed, taken for granted too many times to trust, given broken promises too many times to actually believe in someone, broken too many times to be fixed.

"I don't know what you doubt in yourself because you're literally perfect but whatever it is, I'm pretty sure that none of them is true and that this is the reality you're living in" he said. It was like he read her mind because she was contemplating on whether whatever she was feeling at the moment was real.

"I just doubted the fact that- that if all of this is real. Just me, going through countless of murders, an unforgettable mission, meeting you" she said. "What if all of this nothing but a dream? Because as stupid and pathetic as I sound, I can't imagine my life without you" she said and buried her face deeper into his chest.

He smiled at her words and wrapped his arms around her waist. "Does this feel real?" he asked as he placed his lips on her forehead. Her cries had died down by then and all she did was stare up at him. He chuckled at her cuteness and subtly rubbed her hips.

"Being with you feels like a dream enough" she said. He smiled once more and asked, "Then does this feel real?" as he placed his lips on hers. Her teary eyes widened in shock before she kissed back, every feeling she had for him pouring through.

When they pulled away, she finally cracked a goofy smile at him and he mirrored her expression. "Do you know that I would undoubtingly give you the world and not expect anything in return?" he blurted out which made the agent flustered at his bold words.

She knew that the man was always someone more than just a guard but she didn't expect him to be that charming, perfect man everyone would get on their knees for. By then, she knew that she was the luckiest woman alive to be be able to call him hers, to have all his love to herself.

She was never the first choice for someone, she was always either a second or just an alternative. Call her selfish, but she had always wanted to be at least one person's priority. Her parents who took her in had always made their sons more important, the school had always made those who have money their priority.

Her friends have always had other friends to replace her and her brothers had the company to take care of. She may have past relationships but the boy murdered her best friend, how was she supposed to be a priority to him then?

She was never one's priority but now she is. She is finally a man's first choice, a handsome, intelligent, fine young man who goes by HQ. She was not only lucky because she was his priority, but also because of the fact that he is a head guard. She has been to some deadly missions and she was glad that if he wanted to come along, he would at least have knowledge on how to fight and defend himself.

"Hello? Earth to Jane?" he called out and snapped her out of her trance. "Did you say something?" she asked and he chuckled at her dumbfounded expression. "Just asked if you know that I would give you the entire universe and not expect anything in return" he said and leaned towards her, closing the gap between their bodies, leaving the two basically glued to each other.

"Because I would"