Zepar: Good evening. My name is Count Zepar Goetia, 1st Lieutenant of the 201st mage battalion. I was made aware that a few of our servants started a review page of my siblings and I? Ah, here they are now.
Leslie: Ahhh, off day! I was beginning to think that I'd really drop dead after sucking Sitri off. At this point I feel like he's intentionally making me choke on it.
Valentine: Aha, well, that's the Count for you. I wasn't sure how to handle him when I first started either. I still don't, really, but he's cute.
Zepar: ... Leslie, please keep it decent in the hallways. These matters are personal.
Leslie: Oh damn, never saw you there. You're back, Milord? Really, maybe you should be a little louder. Valentine might bake something good for all of us if you say that you're famished from the long travels abroad, suffering under the snow with forty pound of gear strapped to your body, dodging enemy fire...
Zepar: I promise you, it isn't much fanfare. My brother is in charge of more pressing matters in the northern borders. My visit here was because I am finished with matters at the College.
Valentine: Ah, you're always so focused on your work, Milord... Oh? What's that in your hand?
Leslie: Oh shit.
Zepar: This? It's a review, apparently from castle staff about my family. I haven't had the time to read it--- yet this might be a good opportunity to gather some deeper insight on your thoughts as servants. As a lord, it is my priority to care for the staff here.
Leslie: Ohhhh shit.
Valentine: !!! E-Erm, Count Zepar! You're surely tired from the traveling! Let me unpack those bags for you, ple---
Zepar: Hm...? Goetia Reviewers? What is this about?
*Flashback*
Vretiel: Anyway, what do you think about them? Let's start with Zepar first.
Valentine: Lord Zepar is... How should I put it....
Lisa: Utterly disinterested.
Clara: I really can't argue with that. See, he does everything to make us comfortable, but there's nothing more than that.
Leslie: Clara and I once tried to start something with him, just as a joke.
Clara: Well...
Antonin: It was completely your fault that Lord Zepar hates me now! Why would you ever do that?!
Leslie: Hey, you're the one who ended up sleeping with him anyway. Take it or leave it. Heard he gives the best y'knows.
Vretiel: You couldn't have done a more obscene gesture.
Lisa: Right, he is surprisingly one of my favorites, if you are strictly speaking about the experience. We never need to reciprocate anyway. As long as the job is done, Lord Zepar will be satisfied. An 8 for good luck.
Valentine: But... Well, it's missing something, isn't it? I would rate a 4. Lord Zepar is very patient with me, but most instances feel slightly off. I have never seen him express interest in romance or the sort either.
Leslie: Ironic. The no-nonsense incubus. Personally, he'd be a 5. Nothing really happens that's worthy of noting. Just the standard stuff that would get any incubus by until the next week.
Clara: Is it just me or does he never have actual sex?
Antonin: Definitely not just you.
