Note: the Lilith in this scenario is not Big Tiddy Momma Lilith. It's just that the entirety of Heaven hates Samael lmao
Lilith: Gabriel is so sweet! He let my visit my brother and always listens to my pro---
Raphael: Your opinion is wrong unfortunately :')
Lilith: Huh? What could he possibly do?
Uriel: So Gabriel's fucking crazy
*flashback*
Gabriel: Hey, Uriel.
Uriel: What is it now, I'm busy.
Gabriel: Do you want to kiss?
Uriel: ... Pardon?
Gabriel: I miss it. I asked Lailah, but I am quite sure that she is not interested.
Uriel: ...
Gabriel: ...
Uriel: ...
Gabriel: ...
Uriel: N O
*end flashback*
Uriel: He kept asking me every day for a literal month! I fucking swear that guy is uncomfortably suspicious!
Gabriel: Good morning. Is anything the matter?
Uriel: o h my GOOD lord FUCK do NOT sneak up on me like that
Gabriel: Hm? Oh, I do apologize. I simply heard my name being thrown around, so I jumped to the conclusion that there was some sort of complaint.
Lilith: Er, Gabriel?
Gabriel: Yes?
Raphael: Oh no---
Lilith: Did you ever ask Uriel if he wanted to kiss?
Gabriel: ...
Lilith: ...
Gabriel: Yes. He is a handsome fellow. I miss kissing beautiful people. Unfortunately, my wife is not present in angelic form.
Lilith: ... O-oh. Arch-Archangel! I didn't think that you'd like---
Gabriel: *smile* Please do not misunderstand, Lilith! We are angels, not saints. Angels in this generation are simply blessed for their law abiding. Almost nothing more than that. I suppose you would miss romance as well, if your body is the way it is for as long as I have been in existence.
Lilith: Please don't remind me...
Gabriel: I did try to speak to Michael about it. However, he had to unfortunately decline.
*flashback*
Michael: You want... What?
Gabriel: Our sex organs, of course. I have been receiving complaints from our pitiful angels about their inability to fornicate.
Michael: ... We cannot have children anyway.
Gabriel: I understand. That is one problem that has been in my complaint box for a time now. Families were very dear to many of the angels here, and it would be "nice to experience that again". You should not be ignorant to the fact that there are existent couplings in lower Heaven. Even if children is not the product of a night's affairs, some good might come out of it. Celibacy is not a fitting form for all humans. There is concern on the effects of the oppression of one's sex drive, as witnessed in many of the clergy's distressing... Sins.
Michael: This concerns you because...?
Gabriel: *sigh* Michael, I suppose that you are unable to process what it means to---
Michael: Of course I do! I am just questioning why it has any sort of relevancy to our work!
Gabriel: For one, it would significantly boost morale. A significant portion of our angels are forced to be banished from Heaven after indulging in affairs with mortal men and women. If we lift a few barriers on their personal intimacy, that statistic may lower. In addition, the inclusion of one's own genitals is completely optional and is dependent on the form one wishes to assume. There is no need for discomfort in those who are used to agenderism.
Michael: It is entirely their fault for ignoring clear rules.
Gabriel: Our rules are flawed if a problem continues to persist. At least, seeking out and preventing the problem would decrease the number of future crimes---
Michael: I do not have one care for it! It is still disgusting! Rot in Luxuria! *slams the door*
Gabriel: I did try... *sigh* Virginity is both a blessing and a curse for some.
*end flashback*
Uriel: Like I said, batshit crazy.
Raphael: I know it's not that nice to say, but, well... Uriel's kind of right.
Lilith: Um! Thank you for the information, Archangel Gabriel! Not that I really needed to know...
Gabriel: You are still a child in terms of your angelhood, Miss Lilith. I hope you can see my point in the many long years to come.
Lilith: Right...!
Raphael: Because this is totally a conversation I wanted to have today.
