His Girl

chapter 27

The next few days I barely saw James or anyone. I was beggining to consider talking to the guards since I had no one else to talk too. At one point in my life I used to enjoy being left alone but now i just felt like I was isolated from everything which was no longer a good feeling. The guards were scary and talking to them was a last option. 
"Harper, come here "
He was talking to me? We hadn't spoken  since that day. What if he was in a bad mood? What did he want? I was  freaking out just thinking about the reasons he could have spoken to me for.
I start to make my way to the kitchen hoping he was in a good mood.
"Hey I made breakfast, sit down and eat" he said once I entered. A plate was put down on the table and I went and sat. "Why" I poked at the food with the knife that had been left. "Just eat, it's not poisoned" he said watching me poke the pancakes. "Arent you eating" I ask as he sits down with just a coffee. "I'm not hungry" he shrugs. "Now you just making me think you have poisoned them" I joke hoping he wouldnt take it seriously. The only reason I poked it was because I was unsure why he made them. "Yet you're still eating them" he said. That was true I had begun eating them. "Why wont you eat" I ask again. "I ate an hour ago" he replied. "What did you eat" I ask. "Cereal" he answered.
The conversation seemed to die and I ate whilst he drunk in silence.
After I finished I went and washed my plate. I noticed he was watching every movement I made.
"I miss you"
That caught me off. He missed me. What does that mean. I miss him too, I think. I shouldnt though. This was wrong, I cant have feelings for him. "I'm sorry, I shouldnt have said that" he says almost to quickly.
"Its ok, I sorta miss you too, but I shouldnt" I reply.
"Why shouldn't you" he asks getting up and standing next to me. "Because this is wrong, everything about this is wrong" tears started building up in my eyes. "What is wrong about it" he asks hesitantly he puts his arms around me and hugs me. I didn't respond, instead I just cried into him. "Fuck, harper I'm sooo sorry. I didnt even think of the consequences" he mumbled after seeing how much I was crying. I couldnt reply, all I could do was cry.
A good half hour past and I'm pretty sure his shirt was soaked from my tears. I had finally stopped myself and even though I had he still was hugging me, it was rather tight like he didnt want me to leave but not to tight to hurt me. "Harper you gotta believe me I'm sorry for everything that has happened, I want us to go back to how we used to be" he said pulling away from the hug but still holding me. I wanted that too, but I couldnt. I would get deeper feelings for him and that would be bad. I can't have those feelings for the man who bought me. "Maybe" I replied, it didnt make sense but I didnt know what to say. He looked disappointed and so sad that I just wanted to say that I did too, but I couldnt. He let go of me almost instantly, a smile appeared on his face but it looked forced and his eyes held sadness "I just hope one day you will come back to me" he said and walked out. Now I felt guilty and sad because I made him sad.

James
She didnt want to go back to how things used to be. I dont blame her though, who would want to. I'm the mafia boss, of course she wasnt gonna  say she wanted to go back to how things used to be too. I was gonna loose her, I couldnt lose her. She was the one good thing in my life. Her smile brightened up my day, her laughter was contagious and I always wanted to laugh along with her. Her tears made me comfort her no matter the situation. I was going to lose her though. Tommorow she would be gone, I'm sure of it. She wont want to stick around any longer.