His Girl

chapter 69

James
Ugh, I hated getting angry at her and this time I couldnt control it. The book she had picked up wasnt just a book, it had documents of gun shipments and any other weapons. I had quickly put it away not realizing it was on the shelf a different way to the others. When she picked it up, I panicked, I didnt want her to see or she would ask questions and find out about the mafia. That would definitely cause alot of problems. 
When she left I let my guard down and sat back on my office chair. I let the tears fall, I had hurt her, I pushed her away. All I wanted to do was protect her. It's all I've ever wanted to do.
"You will never be good enough" I whisper to myself.
I was a mess, I couldnt help it.  These past few weeks caught up to me and I cried harder. What the hell was happening to me. I'm pathetic.

After a while I composed myself, the pizza would be here soon and I couldnt let Harper see that I had been crying.

I went and made myself look a little more presentable and went downstairs. I had to be strong, for Harper.  I couldn't let her see. I couldnt let anyone see, not even logan and Ethan. No one can know, ever.

A knock could be heard and I instantly knew it was the pizza so I grabbed some cash and opened the door.
"Thanks man" the dorky teenager said as I handed him the money and in exchange he handed me the pizza.

"Harper the pizza is here" I call out as I walk into the kitchen with the pizza. I set the pizza out and sit down on the island kitchen stool, grabbing a slice I start to eat.
Five minutes later, Harper walks in, I could instantly tell she had been crying. I hope she couldn't tell I had too.
"Hey I'm sorry,  just that book was personal too me and I know you were just gonna swap it around but I got defensive I'm so sorry" I tell her hoping she will forgive me.
"I'm sorry too" she replied.

And just like that, we were on ok terms again.

After the pizza we moved into the living room with some popcorn as we decided to watch a film. It was just a simple comedy which I was enjoying,  not the movie, that was crap but harpers laugh and smile I could sit and watch/listen all day.

*bang*

The sound of thunder pierced through the room. Flashes of lightening spread across the sky and the heavy rain started to plummet down to the ground.
Harper screamed at the sound of thunder and then I remembered she hated thunder,  the loudness of it scared her and they sometimes left her out in a storm. I shuddered at the memory of the last storm.

She shrieked as the thunder boomed loudly. "Hey it's ok, you're ok, it's just thunder, we are inside it's not going to hurt you" I told her and pulled her into  a warm embrace. She hugged back, holding me tightly, she was afraid. "Why dont we get some hot chocolate and watch a movie" I suggest and she nods. I let the nod go as I knew she was too afraid to talk. When the hot chocolate was made, we started the film, she didnt scream but as the noise got louder she flinched and jumped each time. I brought her into my chest and held her securely, making sure she knew she was safe.
"Its too loud" she whispered finally. Thank god. She hadnt spoken since the storm started and I was beggining to worry. "Its ok, it will pass dont worry I'm here" I told her and stroked her hair. "Please dont leave me outside" she whispered and I got confused, why would I do that, she would get Ill. As if sensing my confusion, she spoke "they did" and that's when I realized what she meant. The bastards, I'm gonna kill them.

I managed to shake away the horrific memory of that night, so many murderous thoughts ran through my head that night but each and every one of them were replaced for concern for Harper.  I looked at Harper and she was ghostly white, the blanket was wrapped tightly around her and she was trembling. Fuck.
"Harper" I say and touch her, she was so cold and she flinched at my touch. What was happening? "Harper please, you're ok, I'm here, nothing is going to hurt you" I say. She looked at me and spoke in a trembling whisper "I think I just had a flashback" 
Fuck. Not now. Now was the worst time she could possibly remember. "What do you remember " I ask cautiously and tears start to fall. "I was about 9 I think and these mem were dragging me outside,  they left me tied to a tree, it was thundering and then lightening hit the tree next to my tree" she said quietly
Fuck. No.
I had never heard details about what happened until now. I was enraged and wanted to kill them but Harper was my top priority.
"Do you remember anything else" I ask and she shakes her head "no, just that" I sigh, was it good or bad she couldnt remember anymore.
"You can sleep with me tonight if you want" I ask and she replies back quickly "yes please, I dont wanna be on my own tonight" I smile at her, it was a sad smile but I had to let her know I was here for her. "Can we go to sleep now" she asked a little fear still in her voice "yes of course, let's go"

After doing our nightly routine we both got into bed, I hesitantly put my arm around her but as soon as I did she curled up into my chest.  It felt so good to have her in my arms.
"I'll always be here no matter what, you're safe with me" I tell her and she looks up at me "i feel safe with you"